close your eyes, and picture

a house in magna. just a two story house, with a carport. the lawn is dead and brown. you drive around the corner and what's this? a little towhead girl putting in a sprinkling system? wait. yes. it's little girl, and she's digging the trenches all by herself?
now imagine that 6 year old, 15 years later. the scene is almost the same, she's alone, she has a shovel, only this time she's shoveling snow. she's trying to get her car out of a snow bank because her brothers think its funny when she shovels alone.
luckily a kind man with a bronco showed up, and said "want me to pull you out of there?"
"thanks, none of my brothers will answer their phones" "well i'll be your brother today"
i guess i just see how the Lord works in mysterious ways, there was a reason i shoveled that trench at grandma's all alone, it was so that i could know how to shovel my car all alone.
oh and so that the sweat of the righteous (me) will cry from the dust for the punishment of my brothers. except for my foster brother with the bronco and winch.

Christmas is THIS week
I'll be 21 (officially) in 6 days
there is like 1.5 feet of snow on the ground- it's gorgeous
sibling sleepover this week! predigious!
there will be music sharing, office/earl/youtube watching... and now thanks to eric and the HMDMSTV cable we will be watcing them on the BIGSCREEN
there will be diet coke
garrett!

Phillips family: get ready to get the business

mike

come home. i can't wait to see you.

shattered record

yesterday's math final took me 4 hours and 45 minutes. it was a glorious testing center experience, and my longest to this day

my last post was wicked long

so i'll try to entertain you for a moment in not so many words...
this past friday, tickets to WICKED went on sale for the play which runs through the month of April, 2009. because of some failed attempts to get tickets on the internet by my sister-in-law and her family, we had to go get some physically. which entails waiting in line. just some info about the night before: i got garrett in his carseat in the back of my car and set off trying to find brian's house (nat's brother) at around 11. come midnight, i am somehow in parley's canyon and nat and brian said "just pull over, we'll come get you." anyways... we went to bed at about 1:30 (because we had to play with garrett) and woke up at about 3 (because garrett was upset about something) then we woke for real at 5. nat and i stood in line at abravanel hall and sparky and jan stood in line at captiol theater (mind you, sparky was like the 600th person in line. seriously) nat and i made some BFF's in line and hung out with them until 10 when the doors opened. we ended up buying 24 tickets (the limit was 8 per person, and we actually convinced one of our BFF's to put 8 tickets on her card for us) totaling a couple thousand dollars. it was quite a day! BYU should rename the reading day-- go waste your time by standing in line day. just kidding, because i get to go see WICKED. so i guess it was worth it. and of course nat and i were being hilarious as usual so it was fun you see. we are probably going to start hanging out downtown around 5:30 am more if you'd like to come.

this saturday was glorious, just glorious

I rode to Helper for our family Christmas party with Brian and Cathy, and we decided that our conversation on the way through the canyon was emotionally, politically, spiritually, socially and artistically enlightening. I know you want to know what we talked about. We talked about the energy crisis, and nuclear legislation in the US versus the former Soviet Union's. We talked about our new president, and Jimmy Carter. We talked about Glenn Beck and Ezra Taft Benson. We talked about global warming and Annabelle's stroller. All the while Chris Ledoux played softly in the background (that's where we were artisically enlightened.)
We made a pit stop at Workman's market, where we selected some fine Ruffles, and Ruffles brand ranch dip for the grand occasion. (remind me to tell you about the time Cathy was a little skeptical about whether or not the ranch dip would be a good purchase for our possibly limited access to a kitchen and said "do we have to heat this up?"-- I'm sorry if you just threw up. I did too.)
We got our bowl on, and I annihilated my brothers. Don't act so surprised. I missed Dad, Mom, the Fergusons, and the Davisssss (yeah that's a difficult plural word) and Mike, but after about four seconds of eating, I completely forgot about them. Just kidding, jeez.
I was eating with James and Kaylee, and I was trying to fill in for Dad, and tease her and I don't think I was as effective, but I definitely made progress.
So many things happened that day, and I'm trying to keep this under a million words, so if you'd like more detail I can fill you in later.
It was so fun to be with Mainie, Chris and Michelle, Richie and Jen, and everyone else. Congratulations to Michelle and Levi who are getting married!
I wanted to stay all night, but alas we had more enlightening to get to in the car. This time, Eric and I just got ourselves all enlightened about sleep. Sorry we were so boring Brian and Cath.
Eric and I made it to the Energy Solutions Arena during the second half of the BYU vs. USU basketball. I hope those aggies... just kidding, this blog is G rated. We won. That's all. Same old, same old. ;)
Eric and I played with Garrett for a few minutes when we got back to my parents house, and let me put it this way, I am planning on kidnapping Garrett because he is too too cute. He giggled and we tickled him, and he chased my phone around the floor, and life doesn't get much better than that.
And for the grande finale, I had an interesting night (which is normal under the circumstances.) When it comes to love, its usually really awkward and hilarious with me. I really feel like this maneuver should be named after me. Ok, we were both sitting on this couch. He was trying to flirt with me by putting this disgusting chihuahua on me. I kept getting really grossed out (its a dog! ew!) and pushing it away and telling it sweetly I was going to kill it etc, etc. At one point I almost lost it because I thought he put the dog on my hand/wrist so I jerked my hand away, flinched, and probably said ugh! So I turned to get mad at this guy for letting that rodent touch me and the dog was calmly sleeping in his lap, and my friends hand was outstretched.
So ladies, (gentlemen too I guess) just pull your hand away fast and act grossed out, works everytime.

everytime

i see someone ride across campus on a unicycle, i try so hard not to yell "what a fag!"

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

quentin l. cook quoted that in his last conference talk called "i hope ya know, we had a hard time" he mentioned how we all experience this very phenomenon. i have to agree. often i feel like this is the worst of times:

• i have no money
• no new shoes
• no boyfriends
• no time to play
• i do homework all day
• i'm a little exhausted
• i just failed a test
• it's so blasted cold
• i'm late for class
• i have a headache
• i am freaking out
• etc, etc!

sometimes i have a little harder time remembering that this is the best of times:

• i get to stay out late
• i get to crack up with haylie late at night
• and wake up to her in the morning
• i get to meet so many people in this little city thing called campus
• i get to pray in class
• i grow so much from having to do really hard things
• there are fun people all around me
• absense from my family makes my heart grow fonder (i really love seeing them when i do get to)
• i've gotten really good at doing laundry when pressed for time at my parents laundro-mat
• i have heard from various mothers that your time is no longer your own when you are mom- i am so looking forward to being a mom, but for now i get to work on all my shortcomings with relatively few obligations that require me to distribute my focus

i pretty much love conference, and this talk specifically. my problems don't go away just because i'm choosing to feel happy, but life is so much more enjoyable. i love everything right now. including you.

the aussies call them fringe,

not bangs. Sister Roberts told me today "ay lack yuh fringe". Sister Milburn said "oh they'a fringe becauz they frame ya face". "they'a not bangs" "no-ay. they'a not"

if you want to say "no" like an aussie this is what Sister Roberts taught me:
say "no-you" but cut off the ou. Just say the y at the beginning of the word you.

good luck. Haylie made fun of me so bad for trying to say that like 10 million times.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I can say it now! I love this season so much. I went to see Christmas Carol and the Hale Center Theater in Orem twice last week. I couldn't find Tiny Tim the first night (pre-bang era), so I just got a picture with Brenna, who played the beggar girl, and the ghost of Christmas Past. But the second night I got one with Mark. Mark and Brenna Jeffs are my BYU bishop's kids, and everyone in their family are good friends.

Mainie loves trivia questions so I'm following suit...

What year was the Christmas Carol written by Charles Dickens? (no help on this. period.)

let me try to explain

what happened on thanksgiving. it was fun. it was wild. and it was most likely completely normal. Sandy's charming house, noon, turkey day. Tay made like 200 stuffed mushrooms. Sandy made amazing turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and sweet potato pie. and the bestest salad with green beans, bleu cheese, pears, and walnuts. mmmm baby. i can't forget to tell you about tay's cheese ball, dani's chocolate cheesecake, sandy's pies, and i'll stop.

matt poured coke all over himself and said:
"ahhh i porked cork all myself!"
so when haylie opened the bottle of coke and it shot across the ENTIRE kitchen and soaked haylie- aspen and i could only try not to pee our pants and say "haylie! why did you pork cork all over yourself?!"
the elders came over and aspen and meg kept telling us how hot they were. when they got there, i agreed they were cuties. i happened to be in the basement helping (and trying not to laugh) haylie get cleaned up from the 'cork' mess. i came up the stairs and waited for the hall to clear so i could get by, i was waiting behind sandy, who was behind the missionaries. Sandy turned around and looked right at me and said, "get up here, and start flirting"

i had tears in my eyes all day yesterday. it was way too much fun.

i feel like i'm taking crazy pills

truer words have never been spoken

greg sent an email to me

within the last few weeks, and it had an animated cartoon of dilbert. it was hilarious partly because it was true. in this cartoon, a doctor diagnoses dilbert with 'the knack' he says 'he has a profound understanding of all things mechanical and electrical coupled with utter social ineptitude' late one night, while working on a homework assignment i showed this cartoon to dustin, another chemical engineer, and we laughed our heads off. 'utter social ineptitude' is precisely what is plaguing the clyde building. i'm serious...

me: (hummin a little kanye west) "do you like kanye nick?"
nick: "who?"
me: "kanye west, he's a rapper"
nick: "who?"
me: "he's a black rapper, kanye west...?"
nick: "is that a band?"
me: "no. he's a... nevermind"


me: "hey guys nick didn't know who kanye west was"
"dustin, dan, did you guys hear me? nick doesn't know who kanye west is"
dustin and dan: "um"
me: "seriously?!"
dan: "who is that?"
me: " he had a hit called gold digger way back when"
dustin: " oh that guy. i always thought his name was kane"


me: "tyler, your shirt is pretty"
dustin: "that is classic cowboy, with the pockets, and points coming off your shoulders"
me: "and the mother of pearl snaps"
dustin, tyler: (silence)
dustin: "haha... what?"
me: "that's mother of pearl on the snaps?"
dustin: "what's mother of pearl?"
me: "what?"
"tyler do you know what mother of pearl is?"
tyler: "uh-uh"

long time, no blog

i feel like it's been way too long since i said hello. i have really hit some milestones in the past week. for starters i watched almost an entire season of alias this weekend. aren't you proud of me? it takes dedication to sit home on friday night watching episode after episode, then staying up late into the night on saturday. but seriously, tv on dvd is so amazing, and that is why it is so bad. no commercials, no credits, just michael vartan standing there with the same look on his face he always has (literally, the man has one expression) and making me love him anyway. the only drawback to this weekend of productivity is that haylias wasn't there to be productive with me. she was wasting time visiting jodell, and her family. and now she's sick as can be! i'm really sad! she's been at home since friday, and i just want her to get better and come back to her real [temporary] home. GET WELL SOON HAY-YAY!

the weekend update (with photos)

this saturday the cougars creamed san diego state. Haylie, Brian, Cath, the fetus annabelle, Haylie's friend Jeff, and I were there to witness the massacre, and the marching bands rendition of popcorn popping on the apricot tree. Brian also spied another zoobie freak, and if you watch this video, you'll understand where cool kids like me get the bad wrap.

power of the wasatch's interpretation of guitar hero...see it? see it?

Tetris...

MORTAL COMBAT!

Brain and Cath. (he's giving them the crazy eye!)

The two cutest girls in the riv! (the cutest one is on the right)

weekend highlights

Dad: "I was watching the funniest show the other day, there was this really bratty rich girl, and her parents sent her to mongolia to teach her a lesson..."
Me: "are you talking about MTV's exiled?"
Dad: "I don't know"
Mom: "honey, i don't let matt watch MTV"
Dad: "it wasn't bad"
Matt: "see mom?!"


(on the way to the football game, a few minutes late)
Me: "I wonder why it is so quiet, usually you can hear the band and the announcer from my apartment. Oh, they must be saying the prayer"
Haylie: SHUTUP
Me: "it's BYU, don't act so surprised"

Me: "you'd only be so lucky to hear the band play popcorn popping on the apricot tree today haylie"
Haylie: "NO. shutup. seriously?!"

I'm part of the 2% of people with an abnormal brain

according to an email forwarded to me by aunt mainie. It had you add all these numbers consecutively, then asked you to think of a color and a tool. I thought of a red something, then i finally remembered those are called wrenchs. red, wrench. well apparently 98 % of people who take this survey (possibly even those who do not take said survey) answer red, hammer. i have no evidence to support this other than that is what the email claimed. and aunt mainie said she was part of the 98% in the subject line of the email. may i suggest, before any of you go getting the wrong idea, that i only have half an abnormal brain. my social skills may be getting rusty due to the amount of time spent in the engineering building, but i assure you my political and fashion judgement has never been keener.
on another note, i realize that some of my posts might leave my readers with feelings like "that wasn't sensational" or "man she's a downer." i promise you, that was never my intention. as a matter of fact, i'm really optismistic about the possibilties of wild and crazy times in the next two months. A) Turkey bowling on Turkey day 2) december. period. (well let me elaborate) 2a) after finals, I have a BREAK! 2c) Christmas with my family rocks. (well any weekend with sibling sleepovers really are the best-- wii, garrett, some youtube videos, mike teasing matt, mike teasing dad, dad occasionally swearing at mike over wii tennis, more trilogy time, etc, etc) 2e) I'm turning 21 this december so we're all gonna get loaded for new years (legally this time) (I'M ONLY KIDDING) and you know what else would make 2008 an awesome year... if Mitt Romney were elected president... I'll settle for McCain. And sexy sarah palin. (It's my first time voting in a presidential election tomorrow. I'm such excited)

life comes at you fast

that's why there's (chocolate, chick flicks, blogs, malls, etc.)

i usually need about 6 hours of sleep a night. on average this week, i have slept about 9.2 hours a night. when i ask myself why the sudden change, there is nothing that i can quite put my finger on. except that 9 o'clock rolls around and i think 'i'd rather go to bed than do anything else right now'

it all started on monday. i had the worst day ever! i am not one to cry (unless i'm at the pulpit, then heaven help me, it's like niagara falls) but this monday was really pushing the limits. I walked home in the dark and truly wondered if i would ever get a job after college, and if my family would still love me, and if obama would actually get elected. (the first two were rough questions, but it was really that third one that brought the tears) haylie told me over and over that this was no big deal, and it's not going to matter, and at least my life has problems i can fix. after a lot of contemplation about how much i worry about school and getting a career, i realized, there is no need to worry about this stuff as much as i do. i should be more worried about the sisters in relief society who don't feel welcome.

and that's my remedy for adding hours of sleep to your life. quit worrying.

i'll cheer for the cougars, try and stop me

last saturday, nat, eric, matt, and mike came to provo and we went to kneaders for a glorious french toast breakfast. we all went to the BYU football game and witnessed a mild fight between some morons about who was ruining the game more by loud obnoxious cheers. (i suspect a few gentlemen reported to their bishops about this particular tiff) what with our attention spans, the trilogy (nat, cath, and myself) embarked on a little walk to stretch our legs during the third quarter. low and behold, we ran into chris and michelle magann! i learned that michelle has been going to cougar football games with her parents since she was a little girl. jealous! we chatted in the apparel shop for a few minutes and tried to convince chris to buy a hat with cosmo's head on it, but he wouldn't go for it.

rarely, does any phillips get more excited these two party animals...
i especially enjoy cathy's expression in this picture, matt takes silver

this therapy might not be strong enough...

blogging is therpeutic for me. I'm sitting at work and I've read all my emails, facebooked as long as i could, perused ESPN.com, USAToday, watched The Office online, all in my lab waiting for a process that i have to monitor every 5 or 10 minutes. yum. after all that i knew it was time for a good blog post. too bad i don't have anything of consequence to tell you about. only that i feel like i'm in junior high every other day when i sit in class after class filled with boys, (boys not men) who throw things at me, and hit my elbow while i'm writing, over and over. i really could use a self-help book about "how to deal with the emotional effects of experiencing 8th grade while in your early 20's". it's not a complete repeat of 8th grade though. when i was a bobcat at bennion junior high, boys didn't tease me, they teased those little cheerleaders, and girls in the dance company. i ate school lunch, on styrofoam trays, with adria gardner and chelsea mcarthur. i was busy schooling my biology classmates on the functions of the cell. who in their wildest dreams would have guessed that the unpopular tom-boy would have turned into an engineer who is unpopular? heaven only knows.

The ending of a long, long era

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was goofing around with my friends as usual one night. I was riding in some boy's car, and I found a wallet in his glovebox. I asked him if I could use it since I had never owned a wallet, and thus needed one really badly. I have used it ever since then. (about 6 years plus or minus) Exhibit A:

It has been in the last couple years that I have been a tad self concious carrying that thing outside the cover of a purse. Luckily Mike felt my pain, and helped me pick out a new wallet in Milwaukee. Exhibit awesome:

Sundays with the Phillips (we try not to ruin it with too much religion)

Make sure you check out Nat's blog for some more sunday fun...

Oreos for breakfast was a hit

Followed by some much needed, but completely unwanted, nap-time

Mike and Garrett's balancing act:
he's just so darn cute!

shoot fest!

On saturday we partied like it was 1899 in Newton, by shooting the crap out of a few boxes of clay pigeons. I partied by snapping a few pictures then taking a nap. I love being with my family!

the blog must go on...

I might be tired, but Nat and Mike are urging me to keep blogging.
Flying into Milwaukee was way cool, we were above the clouds almost the whole time, and it was gorgeous. When we approached Milwaukee, there was a full moon over lake Michigan, and the city was lit up which was really cool. Mike met me at the airport, and we went to Lake Park Bistro. It was a classy, charming restaurant that looked out over Lake Michigan. We went back to his apartment watched an episode of the wire then hit the sack. On Wednesday we went to chicago. This city was so awesome! We went 'shopping' on Michigan Avenue. We went up to the top of Hancock tower, we ate burgers at the ESPNzone, we went to the Art Institute of Chicago and saw Van Gogh, Boticelli, Monet, Manet, Rembrandt and more. You'll notice in the slide show that I accidentally used my flash on the orginal American Gothic. I got in big trouble for that! There is a picture called 'Resurrection' the top of it has a glare on it, and that's because the picture is probably 12 feet tall. That picture is by an apprentice of one of my favorite artists (Caravaggio) and is very similar to his style. We ate deep dish pizza, which was about 80% cheese, and I couldn't be happier about that fact. On Thursday we went running for what seemed like forever along Lake Michigan. Then we went to the Milwaukee public museum, which was a little less sensational than Chicago's, and in Mike's words, it was 'ghetto'. We ate sushi for dinner, then had lixx custard for dessert. I'm a fan of sushi! on Friday we ran in Mike's neighbohood. I loved all the fall leaves, and the people in Wauwatosa are so nice! We ate wisconsin brats for lunch-- we had beer brats, and chicken, feta, and spinach brats. The beer brat was my favorite. Mike had to take care of some business at the school, and after that he gave me a mini tour. Before we went to the airport, we went to Kopp's and had the cheapest, hugest burgers ever. Let's just say I did anything but starve on this trip! I had so much fun with Mike. Everytime I did something goofy, he told me I was grounded, which I got a kick out of.

you can’t say blog on an airplane

So I’m sitting in the SLC international airport, and since it costs 8 bones to get on the internet, I am ‘blogging’ in Microsoft word (which just capitalized its own name) then adding this later. I would say the best thing I’ve done so far, is after check in, they tell me to go to gate A5. ‘Thanks’ I start walking, and suddenly the airport seems so small. Where did the rest of the building go? Um… Am I supposed to go outside? AGGH!! Then I turn around and walk back to where I came from and towards the actual airport. The bagging guy looked at me like I was retarded. Big smile, I am!
I head to security and try to act like I know what is going on. Everyone gives their boarding pass to these guys with blue gloves, so I do the same. I dig for my ID again (thinking, you have no idea how happy I am that I have that) then he asks for my number. I just looked at him. Then he started laughing, and says just kidding. Uh… so we go walking through security. Suddenly everyone is taking their shoes off. It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Seriously. All these grown people taking off their shoes without complaint like we’re all going into the playplace at McDonald’s. So I copy them and take my shoes and coat off, and send my stuff through the x-ray machine. I am not going to lie, I was just a little nervous I would never see my purse, shoes and coat again. It’s a good thing I got to the airport real early, because then I had time to fake blog. (I’m in the Denver airport right now) My next 8 year old moment: I’m sitting by the gate, and it’s like 10:05. Well my flight is at 10:30, so if we want to leave by 10:30, we should probably be getting on the plane now right? So I walk over to this counter where two older men are chatting. I show him my ticket and ask if I’m supposed to get on. He sort of looked at me like I was a little dumb, and said “yeah you’ll give that to us when you board”
Holding the ticket out to him, “ok, like right now?”
Not taking the ticket, “uh no”
“Oh. Ok?”
I told him it was my first time and I didn’t really know what to do, then he got a big smile on his face and told me to just wait a little longer, and he’d call us by rows.
Taking off was sweet. The Great Salt Lake was glorious. But it felt like a ride at Lagoon. Like that sick light headed feeling. And of course, I’m so insanely dramatic that I 1) have my face pressed against the window and B) am so stressed that I have to start eating. So I chow down on the two granola bars that my mommy packed for me. My only regret about that first flight is that I was sitting next to a 50 year old man who weighed about 105 lbs, and not some hottie-boomba-lottie. I have high hopes for the flight to Milwaukee. Bring on the babes (please) So remember how when I freak out, I have to start eating immediately? Well right when I get to the Denver airport, I practically run to the gate for my next flight, so scared I’m going to miss the flight. No worries, I had three hours… back to the food court! I grabbed some turkey sandwich and had the dude ring it up… $6.48!!!!! MY BAD. I didn’t realize the country was experiencing a famine and it all happened while I was on the plane, but there’s no way I could have heard about it since they made me turn my phone off! Freaks. Before I got on here to blog, my dad called me and left two messages one saying that he hoped my plane didn’t hijacked. I was able to catch him, and we talked for a half hour. He told me to yell to everyone on the plane “hey everybody! Come look!” then hopefully everyone would run to my side of the plane, and tip it. One expensive turkey sandwich, one fruit and yogurt parfait later, I tried to focus on reading and relax, but these darn stockings were a pain in the butt. So I took those off in a hurry, and on the flight to Milwaukee I realized how to ride in comfort!

my name is mallory phillips, and this is the longest day of my life

The following happened Monday, October 13, between the hours of 7 am and 7 pm

7:02 I wake up late, still needing to finish a one page write up for my 8 o’clock class
8:00 The final packing of my bag before I head off to school (that’s funny, I can’t find my wallet anywhere. As a matter of fact I haven’t seen it since…. Saturday night?)
8:05 (Walking to school) Last time I remember having it was Saturday night at Jason’s Deli. So I sent a text message to Elyse, asking her for Brady’s number since I might have left my wallet in his car.
8:15 Finally to school and on a computer to finish the lamest assignment on the planet
8:55 Ask the TA if she’ll accept my assignment just as class is out “yeah but it will be late, since it’s due at the beginning of class” (shutup)
9:00 Math class—by now I’m starting to get really nervous about the fact that I can’t find my wallet
1st text message of the day: (to Mike) do you think the airport will let me use a school ID? (worst case scenario I’m planning to take 10 bucks cash and buy a new ID on campus)
Mike: government issue ID is probably best, why?
Me: Ummm… I think I misplaced my wallet
Mike: is that a joke?
Me: no.

Me to Mom: What time does the DMV close?
Mom: 6 or 7. What’s going on?
Me: I lost my wallet

10:00 Physical chemistry (not as fun as it sounds) I’m freaking out at this point. I had planned to meet with teachers all day to finish up my homework before I leave for Milwaukee. And I’m sitting behind this uber cute guy who didn’t text me back on Saturday when I asked him where he was sitting at the game… who claimed he didn’t get the text until the end of the game. The guy next to him turns around and says “you can’t text during the game” then proceeds to try and whisper the outrageous story about how I dared to send a text message during the football game to the guy next to him, and right in front of me. I finally said “I can hear you” Shut him up. Yeah I’m losing my mind right now.
I wish Matt was at home and could help me look for my social security card, and check what time the DMV closes
I talk to James Patterson (newly awarded his PhD and proceeding to experiment on us undergraduates as a teacher—he embodies geek) I told him that instead of coming to get help with homework I needed to go to Salt Lake and get a new license so I could get on my plane. He told me I could hand my homework in on Monday when I got back.

11:00 Fluid Mechanics (I also get cell phone service again) 1)I have a voicemail from Matt saying he stayed home sick today, was wondering when I was coming up so we could hang, and he needed a massage. 2) Elyse texts my back telling me Brady's number (the boy whose car I was in Saturday night). 3) Voicemail from Haylie as icing on the cake. Fluids, I text like my life depends on it. Brady looks in his Audi, no wallet. Matt finds that the place to replace your drivers license closes at 6, but won’t let anyone in line after 3:30. Matt also found my birth certificate and social security card, and was ready to go get in line for me. I don’t think I have been this worked up in my entire life. Like I’m not already FREAKING OUT because I have to get on a plane BY MYSELF.

12:00 I’m done with class for the day, and I’m ready to run down this game plan: 1)BYU lost and found 2) tear my apartment apart 3)drive to Salt Lake and get a new license
BYU lost and found (for those of you who don’t know, it’s the most amazing part about BYU. I have found my watch, and jumpdrive, and more to come I’m sure. It’s located in the WILK, and all lost and founds flow into it. Its all organized, and they have regular employees there) But no such luck, no wallet. Alright, head home. I have never prayed nor cursed so passionately than I did this day. Ok one more prayer before the carnage begins, I’ll check my car first, then my room. It’s not on the floor on the passengers side, or under either seat. Then suddenly I see it! Tucked right next to the console, on the passengers side.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t the longest day, maybe the most dramatic though. At this point, I have told about 9 people, and sent 200 text messages. Suddenly I have to go do my homework? Ugh.
I’m so emotionally drained from my own drama. At about 7 the Fergusons came down and got J-dawgs and we ate them in some Jewish structure set up on campus. SWEET!

Did you know...

• We have a Ute blanket draped on the lazy boy in our apartment (it's haylie's, it's haylie's!)
• Haylie is an amazing cook
• Our apartment has sour apple green walls
• Provo is the highest baptizing mission in the world
• I have the best dad in the world
• Haylie and I eat pasta about 9 times a week (mmmm)
• I should be doing homework since I'm going to chicago next week...
• Katy Perry 'Hot n cold' is the best song to run to, gets me PUMPED
• The sister missionaries live in BYU's married housing (free rent)
• 92% of the students majoring in chemical engineering are married by the end of their sophomore year
• 90% of all statistics are made up
• Including the last one
• And the one before that
• But not by far!
• doberman pinschers are the prettiest dogs on this planet
• About 1 in every 500 people are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
• About 1 in every 101,000 people have the opportunity to serve full time missions and 'wear the black nametag'
• In 1986 the United States Government established the Superfund Act, which requires that all chemical waste management care is retroactive (meaning that if you disposed of it 10 years ago, and this year senator obama helps change the law, you have to go clean it up again)
• I have a quiz about goverment regulations on chemical waste disposal, that I have to study for now
• I'm not complaining about superfund
• vote mccain palin 2008
  

one of the best parts of the year

Anytime we celebrate Mike is a wonderful day. Today is Mike's birthday! Happy Birthday Mike!

Missed so much! I miss Mike while he's at school, but getting prescriptions is a small price to pay...
Is super handsome
Cracks me up
Hardworking
Always hardworking
Every girls dream
Loves to be awesome

These are just some things you might not know about Mike (but I seriously doubt it)

one of the best parts of my week

Today is Thursday. J-dawg Thursday to be exact. Today would be the third regular occurence (minus last week, because Haylie and I spotted free food on the way to J-dawgs, so we were responsible.) So I guess this is actually only the second. Whatever. Today Uncle Tracy joined us and we (meaning I listened intently) talked about the upset of a game last night's CUBS VS. dodgers was. Uncle Tracy was on his way back from an exciting business trip in Richfield, so he met us at this classy stand.



I highly recommend it if you're ever in Provo. And heck, I'd love to take you there next time you come down. I also recommend the polish dawg, with special sauce (sweet and spicy!), onions, and a pickle (and dijon mustard if you're feeling saucy-- no pun intended)



because you only live once... plus it's mostly healthy!

Remember this girl?

Nicole Little was one my good buddies in highschool. I had so many sleepovers at her house. A lot of these were on school nights too. After track practice I would go over to nicole's house and sit on her couch and watch tv in my workout clothes, and eat all the fruitsnacks. Oh and string cheese. Nicole's mom would usually get mad at me if I asked if I could have some food, she'd say "oh! for heck's sake you don't have to ask! you live here, just have anything you want" Then I would stick around for 4 more hours. I can remember a couple of occasions when I would help nicole get ready for a date (by eating string cheese on her bed while she got ready) then sit on the stairs whilst Sione, or Nick picked her up then continue to watch tv with her parents while nicole was on her date. Yes, I was a loyal friend. I found these pictures somewhere the other day and just thought I'd share my memories with all of you.

I just love this picture of nicole (little) wall.



Kees Lundberg's (pronounced 'case')dad was in a branch of the military. Every year a military ball was held. When we were juniors, Kees asked Kariann. Nicole was heard to say "I call dibs next year." Nicole got almost anything she asked for. Unfortunately, Kees's friend didn't have a date, but it's ok Kees let him be in a picture with himself and Nicole.

party time

It wouldn't be a day in my life if:

• I wasn't at least 5 minutes late to my 8 am class
• I didn't read everyone's blog
• I didn't start a homework assignment during class, 40 minutes before it's due
• I didn't daydream about being a ralph lauren model
• I didn't wonder where haylie is
• I didn't crave pasta with balsamic vinegar
• I didn't completely freak out about 1 million things until I had a headache
• I didn't send at least 55 text messages
• I didn't check my email to see who else my dad has told that I did something in college
• I didn't wish I was instantly in the middle of a 4 mile run
• I didn't mentally run down exactly what clothes I would buy if I could suddenly buy anything I want
• I didn't wish I was on a plane to Milwaukee
• I didn't rearrange my top three crushes based on their clothes, hairstyles, and character traits

Ralph Lauren: Fashion CzarI love burberry bags (at least how they look, I've never actually used one myself)
And this... burberry.com I would buy this for a little newborn niece (IF I HAD ONE)
ps don't tell burberry I'm using their photos, for legal purposes
This Versace watch can be purchased at Nordstrom for $1,550. I bet THIS would help get me to class on time. And those swirlies on the band will remind me of ancient civilizations that paved the way for the world. (History + puncuality)
Palm centro for verizon. This add said "You're shortcut to happy hour" and I want to be happy
October 14-17 Mallory will be out of her office, and in this city
And this one!

how to annoy me

wear my most favorite pair of earrings. and on the same day that i do.

the saga continues...

and then she gets asked on a date. phew.

the saga that is my love life

i thought the title of this post was really clever, at the same time i realized i didn't know what saga meant. interestingly, the third definition fit as 'a long detailed account', barely missing the description of '1: a prose narrative recorded in Iceland in the 12th and 13th centuries of historic or legendary figures and events of the heroic age of Norway and Iceland' and '2 : a modern heroic narrative resembling the Icelandic saga.' i wish i was in Iceland right now. i also wish these stories were more herioc, and less pathetic. nat and cathy have had a play-by-play throughout my college days of this narrative of love. so by definition, this has been a saga in that respect. i'm not going to type out the whole saga on the blog. (boring) you just get a taste.
today i let sister jeffs and lili convince me to 'take a risk'. with all my careful observation, he couldn't possibly be dating someone. but he is.
so i lit some candles and got out a jar of peanut butter like a good, strong girl would and faced the fact that lili's last warning was right. she said "let's face it though, every time i take a risk, i end up looking like an idiot." tomorrow's gonna be awkward. bring it on.

Party like it's 1908

What an awesome surprise! Uncle Tracy and Aspen came down to watch the cubs game on wednesday night, and feed me unreasonable amounts of pizza. They love the cubs and baseball so much, its wonderful. The last time the cubs went to the world series was 1908, and I believe they have a good chance of going this year. They were sure fun to watch commentate! And look at their cubbies hats!

We went to shannon's reception this week. And who do you think the center of attention was? It was Garrett. He always is, and that's how we planned it.

these are the best days of our lives

We had the sister missionaries over for dinner. Sister Dumas has been transferred, she was 13 years old when my oldest brother Greg lived with her family while he was serving in the Carlsbad California mission. (From left to right) Sister Roberts from Sydney Australia, Me, Sister Milburn from London England, Haylie, Amanda, and Brittany. Both sister missionaries have the most adorable accents, and they are so funny. We had a great night eating fajitas and teaching eachother slang, and otherwise inappropriate words from our respective cultures.

Don't Rock Out...

On the Sabbath.

(It's the fourth commandment to keep the sabbath holy, so we had four fingers up. They taught me and an investigator about the commandments, and corresponding hand signals to memorize them all)

And now, Haylie keeps making fun of me and asking me how my homework is coming along, so I need to hop to it. I have more pictures, thanks to my mom for lending me the camera I'll post asap.

God Bless the USA

it's this girl

She's the one I lived with for the past two weeks. It rocked.
(because what good is a blog without pictures right?)

Provo Sunday-isms

There was a little confusion as to where and when church would be this morning...

me: "It's in the Marriott Center at 10"
Brittany: "Oh, now we know doubly where it is"

*I guess I always thought you could know something, or not know something, but apparently there is another level of 'knowing', and that's 'doubly knowing'


Me: "What time is it?"
Amanda: (looking at her watch-less wrist) "It's getting dark"

Boyd K. Packer: "...He was a French Canadian, who was...French"
(a little laughter from the crowd)
Packer: "You are a really bright group"

The worst (or best depending how you look at it):

Me: "How old is Emma now Jeremy?"
Jeremy: "She just turned two"
Me: (suddenly wondering if Jandi is still working as a nurse) "Jandi are you still nursing?"

I hope I can recover from that one. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life.

But today was really awesome. I had the opportunity to hear from President Uchtdorf, President Packer, and Elder Marlin K. Jensen. The Marriott Center was packed full. My roommate Amanda is from Nebraska, and she continued to express her excitement and wonder at so many mormons. She told us how she had never seen so many mormons in her life. It was a reminder of how blessed I am, and what I take for granted: to have the opportunity to be in the presence of living prophets, and so many people who are members of the Savior's church.

A Friday Night in the Life...

Last night started out with a bang by Haylie whipping up some spaghetti. We watched an episode and half of Alias, then I went to pick Becky up from work. Haylie and Meg, being the sweet things they are paused the episode for me, and read while I went to get miss Tucker. Right when we got back, I realized my new roommate Amanda would just be getting off a 12 hour shift at Target, and if she rode the bus home it would take and hour. So I ran up there, and Becky joined Haylie and Meg in the read-a-thon. When Amanda and I got home, Brittany had joined said a-thon. We all started saying hi etc. then Amanda proceeds her unrehearsed stand up comedy:

"It is so hot in here, I swear to gosh."
"I almost said God, but I caught myself."
"I cannot BELIEVE ya'll are sittin around readin! You will never in your life see a bunch of black people sittin around readin on a Friday night. Is this a white people thing?"

Haylie and I were literally in tears at this point. (Also Amanda is black, if that wasn't clear.)

Surprise, Surprise

Do you ever misjudge someone badly? You think, 'we could be best friends forever' or 'what a goof'. Well I do it all the time. I did it big time, and found out how wrong I was last night. Everything that I saw was wrong, I somehow saw past it last night and realized everything there was what I wanted to be. I felt so rotten, lost, and useless. But then I realized as much as I would like to beat myself up (and rightfully should) the only respectable thing to do, is start trying today to ditch those habits. I guess I'm grateful for the exposure I have to so many wonderful (and some not as wonderful) while I'm young.

I'm a Junior now, ok? A JUNIOR...

I had to buy a packet for a class yesterday, but the bookstore ran out. Because of my loads of experience with the textbook department in the bookstore, I know the drill. You fill out a little card thing, go pay for it, pick it up a few weeks later. Easy enough right? I pay 10 bucks for the paper, and the cashier staples the reciept to the little card thing.
Then she asks "Have you done this before? Do you how to pick this up?"
"Oh yeah, thanks" (hand outreached, ready to grab and go)
"How do you do it?"
"... I take that slip over to that counter"
"How do you know your book is in?"
"... ... ... um I don't know"
"Ok, you go to this website, type in this number, then go get it at that counter over there. Don't get one off the shelf."
I THINK I got that. Give me the receipt already.

For Heck's Sake

I'm having a mid-blog-life crisis. Why is it so hard to find a decent background for my blog? When Al Gore was inventing this piece of junk called the internet I wish he would have put a little more thought into easy access, classy blog skins. Thanks for nothing man.

It was a summer of fashion, fun and frivolity

Today is the first day of my junior year. It's been an absolutely fabulous day. I am still looking forward to seeing faces I haven't seen for 4 months (elyse). As Summer fun came to a close last night, I wanted to tell the season thank you, but fell asleep. So it's a little late summer, but here's all my thanks:

Spring Semester/May/June.

• I was the Primary president for two short months in the 79th ward. I got to meet with the primary aged children belonging to the bishopric once a month. Those two meetings were awesome. We went on walks, played a lot of hang man, settled some arguments, got glitter on everyone's face (thanks mya clayton), and learned a couple Book of Mormon stories.
• Brian walked me through my elective electrical engineering class.
• My social scene was lacking, but I had an awesome goal to fill that time. My goal was to run 80 miles in the month of June. I only ran 70 miles, during which I ran the longest run of my career (8 miles). It was sweet, I loved every step.

Summer Semester/July/August

• I took an organic chemistry lab and wore old jeans and a huge t-shirt to school almost everyday. When I finished the lab, and dressed normal, everyone at work wouldn't stop asking what I was dressed up for. Awesome.
• I was called to the Relief Society presidency (hence removal from the primary) as 1st counselor. I love this calling. I love having girlfriends in the ward, and they are sort of forced to be my friend, and I like that.
• Our family went to Bear Lake and it was such an awesome vacation! I went on the water weenie with Matt and Brian and threw them both off, I got up on the wakeboard, lit some fireworks with Matt, gave some massages, and got a serious sunburn. It was one of the best vacations I've had a while.
• I contributed to a paper this summer, that was recently published. We also submitted it to a conference where I will present it next week in Salt Lake. I recieved a 'travel award' from the conference that I am using to go to Milwaukee in October and hang out with Mike for a few days before we both fly home. It will be my first commercial airplane ride. But I'm more excited to see Mike.
• Becky lived me for two amazing weeks, and we really got our friendship on.
• Haylie (my cousin) moved in, and we are having a blast! (plus she made the apartment adorable)
• I have been over to my mom's cousin Lon and his wife Rita's house and enjoyed fun company, good food, and competive 'dive for the torpedo' in their pool.
• I rode a few miles on bishop Jeff's bike in Provo canyon.
• Ate it hardcore on my longboard (and recovered)
• GAP came out with the V-neck. Enough said.
• Learned about ALIAS, and SUPERNATURAL
• I made awesome friends: Lili and Becky
• And Eric and I really got our friendship on. We've had fun.

Thanks for reading family, I love you guys. Send me an email at mallory.phillips.byu@gmail.com with your email address so I can add you to a list, to keep my blog a little private. XoxoXOO

It's fall, and the freshman are here

So last night I picked Becky up at Los Hermanos at 11:15. As we approached the Riviera, we saw two people skipping. Skipping. The girl looked dorky, and the boy was downright embarrasing. "Yep Becky, that's my ex-boyfriend." This is just an example of one of those 'things' you look back on and think "I was such a dork" or "Really? What was I thinking?" If you were one of my brothers you would say "Why did I let mom give me a mullet, and steps in the side of my hair?" or "Why did I paintball that house in a driveby?" Well maybe they don't worry about that first one. Me, I wonder why I let eric cut my hair to my ears when I was four. Or why did I stay up until 2 last night when I had all this homework? Or why did dare eric to punch me in the face that one time?

I guess the freshman on campus remind me of a little younger version of myself. They tour campus with their parents, and ask seemingly stupid questions. Half the time they look like deer in the headlights, and the other half they act like animals during mating season. No sophomore, junior, senior, or variation of super senior passes up the opportunity to take cheap shots at freshman. I know, because I participate. I guess we do it to take the attention away from how clueless we actually are- just about different things than the physical locations of buildings on campus. We all think we were never as mentally incapable as the new freshman, but inside we regret that we were even bigger geeks.

This week I got two new roommates, and a large uhaul full of new and exciting decorations. About every four months it feels like my life turns upside down. Just because I move into a new apartment. I have always been pessimistic and ornery about my roommates. I wondered this last week if I actually took the opportunity to learn the lessons I could from all my unique roommates I've had in the past two years. I decided from now on, I'm not going to take 4 months to just tolerate them, then learn some cools lessons the week they move out. I have had a lot of different roommates, and I am pretty excited about the new ones. They are just what I want. Incredibly nice, selfless, and female. I predict a drama free year. I'm not going to have any regrets in this department. As for the late night partying, I can't make any promises.

Thanks

I forgot to say how grateful I am for my safety! Especially after my longboarding accident, and the car wreck I was in when I was 16. I have seen so many runners get injured, it happens all the time! I luckily have never had an injury to keep me from running for more than a day. I know my Father in Heaven is blessing me, and I'm so grateful.

Seven Random Things

Nad tagged me on July 10 with the sidenote that I really needed to update my blog (my bad, I think I figured, if I don't get on for a while, no one else will right?) I am shamefully embarrassed.

1. I thought this would be appropriate with Nat's number one. I LOVE running. I am an off and on runner, if there's a party, I'll most likely stay up late, and sleep in the next day. But I love distance running. The longest distance I have ran is about 7.5 miles. I'd like to run a 10k race, maybe maybe a half marathon. But I like the 'shorter' races of about a 5k. I'm not sure I ever have the desire to run a full marathon. We shall see, but don't hold your breath.

2. I have lived in 4 different apartments at the Riveria in Provo. I'll be here a total of two years in the spring. (I MIGHT move on after that)

3. I am a chemical engineering major (nerrrrrrrd)

4. I have 5 brothers and no sisters. I love my new sisters Nat and Cathy though! We have a blast talking about shopping, boys, twilight (cathy especially) and I wonder what I did growing up without sisters! (Oh now I remember, I would wear my brothers clothes against my mom's best efforts to stop me, and try to act just like them. I was a big tomboy too Sandy!)

5. Not a fan of baking. I like cooking, but I can count on one hand how many times I have baked cookies (zero) and brownies (5) while I've been in college. And I don't think I've ever delivered them to anyone. (I'm working on it...) I hope this one makes Aspen feel better ;)

6. I had 5 cats between 2nd and 3rd grade. I took care of them the best I could, but one was hit by a car, one dissapeared, one got cancer, I think one was poisoned, and I still have one! I got her while I was in third grade. She had kittens soon after I got her, but now she's all fixed. So she was mature when I got her about 11 years ago. I'm so glad my parents still take care of her, because even though I'm horribly allergic (which makes me tend to get annoyed with cats) I have a soft place in my heart for her, and she still recognizes me when I come home. Greg is not a fan of cats, but he would be so nice to my cat when I was around. He's so sweet.

7. Finally...(I'm struggling *see numbers 3, 4, and 5) I drive a '92 Ford Taurus. It's kind of a big deal. This would be the third car I have 'driven'. The first one (turquoise buick skylark, nicknamed the shark because it actually looked like a shark) I totalled after having my license for 3 months. Without my dad's patience and concern for my safety I don't think I would have made it through my mothers obvious frustration. The second (and my favorite) was an '86 honda accord (thanks to eric, it was fitted with sub woofers.) PIMP. It just blew up while I was driving down the freeway at 2 AM. My parents came and got me at the point of the mountain, towed the car home then drove me to Provo so I could make it to church. I got home at 6 AM. The best car story-- My dad's honda got stolen while I was driving it (well it was parked when it actually got stolen) then we got it back. (That's the REAL short version of the story. If you want longer, ask me, not my dad, he'll exagerate)

I am now tagging all the Fergusons!

I missed you too.

Sorry its been so long. (in case you actually wanted me to write something else) I took a look at my past blog posts today, and I don't like nature valley granola bars anymore, I actually ate about 2,000 and now I gag when I see them. Everything else is pretty much still valid.

I actually started drafting this blog post about a month ago, it was rather scarce on quality content since I haven't done anything wild and crazy in awhile. Funny thing though-- I wrote about some minor, and clumsy injuries, then saved this draft, then had a serious doosy. Oh yeah, but you have to read (or at least skim through the less exciting ones to get to the good one-- and believe me its a sweet one) Sadly though, my camera is having a midlife crisis so I don't have any injury pictures (I KNOW! I'm just as frustrated as you. Maybe Matt can describe the good ones to you :)

I have sustained a handful of injuries this past few weeks, that I thought would be beneficial to you. First-- I was out running south on canyon road, I was almost home. I got close to the intersection, and headed for the sidewalk (I like running on the road if its possible). There was a big puddle next to the gutter, so I calculated it into my needed large step to get onto the sidewalk. Unfortunately, I am not blessed with sufficient depth perception, and I didn't notice the curb was 4 inches higher than standard US curbs. Then I was laying on the ground, and I rolled over and just enjoyed the sky. Second-- I was trying to be cool, and longboard in the parking lot of my my apt complex. I decided it would be in my best interest to attempt a nose manual (leaning on the front two wheels, while the back ones are off the ground) I have never in my life have been thrown to the ground so quickly. I really couldn't remember for a second what I did that caused me to eat the asphalt. And just a few minor ones-- during some pool-ball I took an elbow to the eye, and an elbow to the chin. I showed the sister missionaries walking through the parking lot, and told them to feel my face. Sister Dumas gasped and said she didn't need to touch she could see it. And another this morning while I was running, I ran into a fence. Literally, I ran right into it, and my elbow is just not as sexy as it used to be.

And the best.

When I first got my longboard, an un-named uncle said "So I heard you got a death board" "yeah, thanks." Interestingly enough, I believe people can actually die on a longboard. Matt and I rode down the Provo canyon park trail. My first fall happened while I was crouched down on my board. I got some speed wobbles, got really nervous at my speed, and sort of fell off (half on purpose I think). I ripped the back pocket on my pants, got some road rash on my leg and knee, and scraped my palm a little. Totally awesome dude! (right?) The second fall was a hair more painful. I was riding through nunns park, and I was riding fast. Really fast. Speed wobbles, blind curve, and nerves equals poor decision making skills. I decided to bail, and I took two steps then did a somersault, and continued doing similar until I came to a stop by smashing the back of my head against the asphalt. In all seriousness, my helmit saved my life. This time I took a chunk out of my right palm. I had road rash on my shoulders, back, elbow, legs, knees, and hands. My face was fine luckily ;) After that, I road down the canyon as slow as I could. It was a long ride, and it stung. My sweet roommates helped me out, by rubbing anticeptic on me, and one roommate even took on the task of digging asphalt out of my right palm (the deepest wound). Matt has been using my board for a few weeks, but I got it back tonight, and I can't wait to ride again. I promise I'll be more careful, it was painful enough. I just wish I had pictures.

How to annoy me....

Lock me in a room with a boy with excruciately painful BO. Nough said.

Things That Make Me Happy...

1) I went running this morning--perfect weather, the sun was rising, the air was still cool
2) Family dinners with the Fergusons, Davis-es, Darkes, Mainie, and all the Phillips men together again
3) Nike+ dot com
4) Beauty & the Geek, Scrubs
5) When Brian says nerdy stuff
6) Garrett

Join the Club

I love Nature Valley granola bars. I'm talking about the kind that come real crunchy, two to a package. I eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I do this for two reasons that alternate between the most prevalent reason I eat them. One reason is they are incredibly tasty, and mobile. The other reason is that my mom keeps a supply in the food storage room, if I get a box when I go home, I save money for a few weeks (thanks Generous). For a long time, the delightful taste was the only reason I ate (and absolutely loved) them, but today when I was on the the lunch granola bar I thought "ew why am I still eating these?" that's when I realized the other reason. Just some background. The club I am inviting you to join is most important part of this ejournal entry. As I eat these whole grain yummies, I am really careful to let the crumbs fall inside the wrapper. When I'm done, there is like 20% left in the wrapper in the form of crumbs. Arg! So I carefully shake them into the corner, fold the wrapper into a makeshift funnel, look around to make sure no one is looking, then dump. yum. So, if you do this with chips, granola bars, or anything in the like, please, join the club.

Garrett talks in his sleep too...

On Saturday I was eating a late breakfast with Brian, Cathy, Greg, Nat and Eric. Garrett was wrapped up like a burrito sleeping on the couch. He made this high pitched noise like he was suddenly crying. Greg jumped up to make sure he was doing alright, but he turned his head and was sound asleep again. It was adorable. While I was thinking about that, I remembered hearing my dad talk in his sleep once when I was staying over for the weekend. I thought he was talking to my mom, and it was really interesting, because his voice was really light, and playful, so I walked closer to his room and it was hysterical hearing him talk in this voice. And if any of you know my brother greg, he has probably fallen asleep near you and said something even funnier. I wasn't there but once when the boys were sitting around a computer and greg was sleeping on the bed behind them, greg said "hey hot ladies" (it's a line from night at the roxbury) but that doesn't make it any less funny. I also have been known to say something here or there in my sleep. When I was a freshman, my first roommate was Mallory Leavitt, after a couple days living there, I woke up one morning and she seemed really timid. Finally she said, "hey I'm really sorry for turning on the light last night" I asked her what she meant because I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently I got really mad at her and spoke really harshly, borderline yelled at her that the light was making it so I couldn't sleep. (My bad) During another one of my notorious sleep talkings Mallory told me I said something to the effect of "Those witches! Where the H--- are they?!" I told her it was an accident and I actually had no idea what I could have been talking about. Needless to say I love it when my roommates tell me in the morning I was flirting with boys, or saying something else really weird that I just can't control.

Wild Wilford

My dad has been having quite the week this past one. He has been babysitting Garrett, dressing him up like a luchadore and all.

Mighty Mighty Scofield, Mighty Mighty Me

Brian (In his bunny suit- not a gay thing, ask me about it later): you coming fishing saturday?
Me: ....um (light bulb moment) yes me and cathy are going to go trail running
Brian: have you asked her?
Me: nope

Fast forward, Saturday Morning 4:30 AM running clothes + Diet Coke + Dad, Brian, Cathy. Get up and roll to Schofield reservior. Counter intuitively this was the best day of my life thus far. Minus every moment I spend with Garrett. Of course I'm tired, but Schofield was BEAUTIFUL, the sun was rising, the lake was smooth, the air was crisp, and everything was quiet. Cathy and I tuned our nike+ipod mechanisms while Brian and Dad headed for the shore to capture fish. I also was calling PETA at this point. Just Kidding. Cathy and I started walking and ended up having a great walk and hike. We kept telling eachother how awesome this whole thing was. The day really got eventful when we found a tetherball pole at a cabin. I made Cathy play, and we put the scene in Napoleon Dynamite to shame. Seriously it was disastrous, but hysterical. I reminded Cathy every time I almost hit her in the face "someone is going to get hit in the face" and by that I meant she is was going to hit and I was trying to warn her. Then BAM! she nailed me in the nose. Then we fell over laughing hysterically complete without the breathing. So I check my ipod to see how far we've gone before we turn around and surprisingly, my ipod had just stopped counting my miles, weird, whatever. So we head back and we got distracted by the swings, when I looked down at my shoe I realized the reason my ipod stopped clocking my intense trail run was because the nike+ipod sensor had fallen out of my shoe!! DUN DUN DUN!! Then began the retracing of steps to find that little gem. All in all, we traveled about 4 miles. Go us! We headed back to the shore to find that Brian and Dad were busy harvesting the mother fish, full of eggs and all. Don't worry, Brian squeezed all the eggs out before we left. Dad documented the whole thing with mom's mother's day present, and we were all very impressed by the new camera. Anyways we have a new Saturday tradition, everyone is welcome. But I don't think anyone reads this blog.

Welcome, you must be bored

Its 10:45 on Saturday night, I don't know where my roommates are, I am spending this lovely night alone in my apartment, wearing an old, huge, Famous Dave's shirt sporting the phrase, 'it ain't bar-b-eque unless ya get some on ya!'. With that classy image in your mind, you are ready to step into this high quality piece of literature. So I decided to try and figure out this blog thing with the extra time on my hands. I figured it would really make the world a better place if I told the family, community, and indeed the world about this truly delightful day. I think the majority of it was spent in the car, which wasn't as horrible as it could have been, because Brian and Cathy were quite entertaining. Cathy drove us to Cache valley beginning around 11 am and Brian gave Cathy lots of advice on how the best way to execute the task of driving there. She really shined as she narrated her driving "do do do, time to change lanes, this guy is slow." etc... We went to the Peterson's for a barbeque, to thank Roy and Harvey for traveling so far to see the best baby in the world, Garrett of course. The day was highly entertaining for me, personally. I would say one highlight is when Brooklyn came in excited to see me as usual. She sat on my lap and said "Who is your husband?" "I don't have one" "Why not?" (pause, thinking) "Um" (good question Brooklyn). Funny story #2: Greg broke my thumb, which means I can't give him massages anymore. Then he killed himself over the thought of going without my amazing massages. (Not really, but watch him Nat). Greg being the funny guy that he is participated in the funniest conversation I have heard in a long while. I hate to make his ego too big, but it was too funny not to share. Garrett had been being passed around all day (as usual) and Roy is just in love with this little boy, so anytime someone nearby was holding Garrett, he sincerely would tell Garrett how much he loved him. He was so sweet. I couldn't help but think Roy would probably want to try holding Garrett, so I asked if he would, and he said yes. I put Garrett in Roy's arms. Roy held him on his chest, and Garrett snuggled for a little bit. Then Garrett started to slide into Roy's side, and Roy didn't really notice Garrett was quite near suffocating with his face in Roy's sweater. We all watched for a little bit, getting more and more anxious, finally Aunt Paula looked at me and said why don't you grab him, so I got up and proceeding to save Garrett's life by turning him over and providing him access to life sustaining oxygen. At this point no one wants to say anything to hurt Roy's feelings then Greg walks up as I am turning Garrett over and says to Roy "if you continue to hold him like that he's going to suffocate" (Roy) "Oh I'm sorry" (Greg) "along those lines, don't let him get a plastic bag over his head. He probably already has brain damage from the last one." to which we all laugh hysterically as quiet as we can. Then it really started getting wild (Roy) "Oh you must have had a plastic bag over your head once" (Greg) "I was going to tell you to just go ahead and put one on your head". As if we all aren't already dying, Garrett's head starts to slip under Roy's armpit as he doesn't notice, and Greg proceeds to ask "Oh are you going to sit on him now?". Let's just say Greg the comedian was on a roll as usual, too bad he will never get another massage. We sure missed mom, dad, matt, eric, and of course mike, but it was a quiet little day in newton complete with the horse maneur wafting our way occasionally, and/or Brian wafting my way.