you can’t say blog on an airplane

So I’m sitting in the SLC international airport, and since it costs 8 bones to get on the internet, I am ‘blogging’ in Microsoft word (which just capitalized its own name) then adding this later. I would say the best thing I’ve done so far, is after check in, they tell me to go to gate A5. ‘Thanks’ I start walking, and suddenly the airport seems so small. Where did the rest of the building go? Um… Am I supposed to go outside? AGGH!! Then I turn around and walk back to where I came from and towards the actual airport. The bagging guy looked at me like I was retarded. Big smile, I am!
I head to security and try to act like I know what is going on. Everyone gives their boarding pass to these guys with blue gloves, so I do the same. I dig for my ID again (thinking, you have no idea how happy I am that I have that) then he asks for my number. I just looked at him. Then he started laughing, and says just kidding. Uh… so we go walking through security. Suddenly everyone is taking their shoes off. It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Seriously. All these grown people taking off their shoes without complaint like we’re all going into the playplace at McDonald’s. So I copy them and take my shoes and coat off, and send my stuff through the x-ray machine. I am not going to lie, I was just a little nervous I would never see my purse, shoes and coat again. It’s a good thing I got to the airport real early, because then I had time to fake blog. (I’m in the Denver airport right now) My next 8 year old moment: I’m sitting by the gate, and it’s like 10:05. Well my flight is at 10:30, so if we want to leave by 10:30, we should probably be getting on the plane now right? So I walk over to this counter where two older men are chatting. I show him my ticket and ask if I’m supposed to get on. He sort of looked at me like I was a little dumb, and said “yeah you’ll give that to us when you board”
Holding the ticket out to him, “ok, like right now?”
Not taking the ticket, “uh no”
“Oh. Ok?”
I told him it was my first time and I didn’t really know what to do, then he got a big smile on his face and told me to just wait a little longer, and he’d call us by rows.
Taking off was sweet. The Great Salt Lake was glorious. But it felt like a ride at Lagoon. Like that sick light headed feeling. And of course, I’m so insanely dramatic that I 1) have my face pressed against the window and B) am so stressed that I have to start eating. So I chow down on the two granola bars that my mommy packed for me. My only regret about that first flight is that I was sitting next to a 50 year old man who weighed about 105 lbs, and not some hottie-boomba-lottie. I have high hopes for the flight to Milwaukee. Bring on the babes (please) So remember how when I freak out, I have to start eating immediately? Well right when I get to the Denver airport, I practically run to the gate for my next flight, so scared I’m going to miss the flight. No worries, I had three hours… back to the food court! I grabbed some turkey sandwich and had the dude ring it up… $6.48!!!!! MY BAD. I didn’t realize the country was experiencing a famine and it all happened while I was on the plane, but there’s no way I could have heard about it since they made me turn my phone off! Freaks. Before I got on here to blog, my dad called me and left two messages one saying that he hoped my plane didn’t hijacked. I was able to catch him, and we talked for a half hour. He told me to yell to everyone on the plane “hey everybody! Come look!” then hopefully everyone would run to my side of the plane, and tip it. One expensive turkey sandwich, one fruit and yogurt parfait later, I tried to focus on reading and relax, but these darn stockings were a pain in the butt. So I took those off in a hurry, and on the flight to Milwaukee I realized how to ride in comfort!