I live my life, with this simple phrase present in the back of my mind

We left Nauvoo on Monday morning, and went to Chicago. We hung out at Navy Pier until everyone arrived, and we took a boat tour up the Chicago River. The second day in Chicago, we split up into two groups. One group took it a little easier, while the rest of us tired ourselves out seeing Chicago. We went to the Museum of Science and Industry (the coolest part was going into the replica mineshaft and seeing old working mining equipment,) the Shedd aquarium, dinner at Maggiano's, the Hancock tower, a swing by Nordstrom, then back to Milwaukee. We were beat!

Navy Pier...


Boat tour...
Keeping Garrett entertained by taking a stroll on Michigan Ave while we waited for dinner
SO hungry
Museum of Science and Industry...


Kinda crappy, but cute theoretically...
I wanted to be the Engineer, but Matt refused since he is taller
Sorry Mike about the blinking, again too cute not to show
Nerd paradise (mirror maze covered in hydrocarbons) I'm just indulging the stereotype I swear
That's the Field Museum, we didn't go in, this is just on the way to the Shedd Aquarium

Nat told me "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find prince charming."
Mike kisses lizards...

So cute!
Photos by Deb. Seriously such a good photographer. No training at all!

Too much for one title

I have been snapping pictures the last few days in a higher volume than I normally do.  The reason being that I actually have subject worthy of the energy from the rechargeable Duracell batteries.

I am in Nauvoo, Illinois (Illinoise as Cathy likes to say) with all of my immediate family.  Mike graduated from medical school on Friday, and we all flew to Milwaukee to attend his graduation ceremony and celebrate a huge accomplishment. Sometimes as I sit and mope to myself about how hard my life is and why I chose this male slash idiot dominated major, and I don’t have time to play all day, every day,  I am reminded of Mike and how he has actually done something with his life which has required even more work and sacrifice than my thermo class. Then I cry more because moping always seems like it will make me feel better. ANYWAYS…

Getting on the plane was quite “delightful” 9 adults and two babies trying to get to the airport, through security, and in seats on the plane was something special in and of itself. Just being with my family stresses me out. Because what if they get stressed out and start yelling (and they will) and what if something goes wrong (and it won't, but it will SEEM like it.)

 Random, but my favorite part about the whole experience was watching Greg. First, Greg, Matt, Eric, and I stayed up until 2 am the night before watching Zoolander, and when that was over Greg wanted to watch Shanghai Noon, I just walked away without saying a thing. Second, while watching the movie he made a paper chain, to count the days until he was back in Utah. And third, I was sitting about 4 rows behind him when we left Salt Lake for Minneanapolis. I watched Greg rest his forehead above the window and stare at the mountains and the country side we flew over. This lasted for about 15 maybe 20 minutes. Not sure why, I just loved watching my big brother enjoy something.

In the rental car leaving the Milwaukee airport.

We went to the Brewers game at Miller Park as a family on Thursday (photo op!)

Mike graduated on Friday. While the names were read for the Doctors of Philosophy, Masters of Science, and something else, I took a good nap. It took talent to get into a position where I could sleep, but my years of training 1 hour, every Sunday, for my entire life, have paid off. They read his name, “Doctor Michael R. Phillips,” he walked across the stage, got his diploma, tripped on the way down the stairs, and now he’s a doctor. He will no longer respond to any name unless it is prefaced by Doctor, so you’ve been warned. (just joking obviously.)  Afterwards we ate dinner at a charming restaurant called Osteria in downtown Milwaukee. 

I absolutely love this one of Greg and Mike

And  Mike's smile is so cute in this one

Today we got in a caravan to come to Nauvoo. I was with Brian and Cathy and we had a lot of fun. The roadtrip from Milwaukee to Nauvoo started out so exciting, then after about 4 hours our heads were pounding and we were all sick of the car. (I’m projecting my feelings, but this is a good estimate I think)

We had a wild night tonight. I think the main reason being that we are all in one hotel room. It’s actually a suite with two queen beds, and three sets of bunkbeds. Basically we are all crammed in here and it only makes every joke funnier. Garrett wiggling through everyone’s legs is also very entertaining. It is currently 11:15 PM and Nat and I are on a top bunk snuggled up with our laptops, because we both know our fans and blogs cannot wait. Some of the excitement as follows:

My Three Moms

Jan Riddle Phillips

Natalie Peterson Phillips

Joanne Bearman Jeffs

My New Crush

Sunday school teacher: If you had a garden, what seeds would you plant in it?

...awkward silence for about 45 seconds....

Me: zucchini

SST: Ok, cool. What else

Mr. Clean: I would plant all fruits and vegetables because there are 20 essential amino acids that your body needs and you can't get them all from one, or even a few places. You can get some of them from supplements, but the best place to get them is from eating a varied diet.

SST: uh huh

Me: (to Jay) I want to date that kid

Jay: We're not friends anymore

Ode to Matt

Sunday night I went home to Mom, Matt, and Dad. I took a long nap on my old bed in my old room. (which is really like how celebrities have two houses, I have two rooms, everything is in tact and I still own that room) I woke up after the sun went down, to Matt asking if I was awake yet. He got on the bed with me and we chatted and laughed while I tried to gain conherence. I did wake up over the course of the conversation. What followed is possibly one of my favorite moments in all the moments I've experienced. We chatted and laughed about Matt's swine flu, and not eating for three days, and all the accompanying symptoms that would just not be polite to describe here. We both sighed and layed there in silence for a few seconds.

Matt: (sigh) "I just, want... pizza"

If you are a member of my immediate family you are probably dying right now knowing that this is just proof that there is only one thing on that 17 year-old boy's mind.

Weekend Update

Tuesday-

got some cow manure on my Uggs.

Wednesday-

I went to a symposium at USU, besides being bored out of my mind for two and half hours, the symposium was catered. I almost cried when they had coke products with caffeine. I really need to get out more. Oh and I saw a boy with hair past his ears and I thought he was really good looking, then I felt guilty. So I cleared everything up with my Bishop, and he said I can stay at BYU.

I saw Wicked. It was awesome, just like everyone's facebook status says.

Thursday-

????

Friday-

Wrote a 20 page statisitics final essay.

Saturday-

Set my alarm for 4 am so I could study for my chemical reaction engineering final. (you realize I write the actual title of the class, instead of kinetics so you think I sound smart right?) I woke up at 6:45 am when my body told me to, and went to my final with..... NO MAKEUP. First time I was seen on campus like that. It was sort of a personal defeat.

Napped to Deathcab tunes.

5 Guys Burgers and Fries with the family, and planning the itinerary for our trip.

In bed by 2 am.

Sunday-

First time someone left me in charge of the Relief Society meeting. The teacher explained how it was difficult for her family to accept that her mother was pregnant again, but it brought them closer together. She then said "my mom didn't end up having the baby, she had an aborti.... I mean a miscarriage!" I'd like to think to this was only a coincidence.

My niece was blessed and I ate a lot of food. 

Conference = Glorious Uplifting Moments (naps)

I got some sushi on Friday. Boy, did I get some. All you can eat baby. 

As for conference, I was sitting in the second balcony, and I struggled a bit to stay awake. Then suddenly, they had everyone stand up for the rest hymn at 3. Oh my bad. I turned and looked at Todd, who looked like a mirror image of confusion. 

"Todd were you sleeping?"

"Yes. Were you?"

"Oh yeah."

We both pulled it together for the second hour, but by the time we got on trax to go home, we were borderline delusional from being so tired. We just stared at everyone around us, including eachother, with confused looks on our faces.

The highlight of my weekend was sleeping over at my parents. I had so much fun laughing with Matt. And oh yes there was twilight watching. And Garrett is just my favorite person next to mom. 

The two best moments were when I worked it with Josh's roommate, only to find out that he was my cousin. I kept working it, because I knew everyone was joking. Well apparently he really is my third cousin or something. What a bust! And speaking of incest (the game the whole family can play as Josh would say) I was working on homework yesterday with headphones in, when I thought I heard a knock on the door. I thought oh great it's that guy in my ward I'm avoiding. Deep breath. Walk to the door. Look through the peephole. It is a boy, only he's a tall brunette, who is actually attractive. Yeah DEFINITELY doesn't live in THIS ward... fix my hair, open the door. It's my little brother Matt.  I was so excited and surprised to see him. 

Blogging from the Harold B. Lee...

I just finished a four hour test, and I don't want to walk home in the cold, so I'm stalling.

That skirt experiment died when I forgot to dress up last Friday. 

Also, my new thing of doing well on tests died with the two I took this week. On a positive note, I am going to conference on Saturday. There's just something about it that makes it worth the nearly two hour drive when you add in the time it takes to pick up tickets and park the car. I'm excited.

I was talking to a friend of mine who happens to be in graduate school here in Zion, studying psychology. He told me that worry can be maladaptive. It can motivate you to get something done in a shorter amount of time, or be more careful, but if it gets out of hand it can create an environment that prohibits you from solving problems. (I won't even get into why this would be a problem even strictly within my major) It clicked so fast. I feel very different than I did on Tuesday. I have definitely made leaps and bounds in the balance department. It's ok to care about homework/school, but there is no need to think that life will never go on if I am late for the 20th time to kinetics. Basically, I'm a worrier. That's why my friends call me a worrier. I used to get headaches my freshman year here at BYU, I went to a stress management lab on campus and after many weeks I realized all my worry have physiological affects, and that I can actually control those physical reactions with my thoughts. Two years later, I needed someone to tell me that again. And it's a good thing, because those problem solving skills that I have a little better grip on since Tuesday, have come in handy in this whole life thing.

Let's see if I can get some sushi after conference. 

It's like I'm back

I found this part of myself today. Smacking my forehead in my beloved testing center.  Everyone haaates the center. But I'm home there too. I think it's because it's quiet, and no one can tell me what to do there. I don't second guess myself because someone is doing something different. I don't hesitate to start punching numbers into my calculator because the guy next to me isn't punching numbers already. I'm right about half the time anyway.  And I don't like it when people tell me what to do. That's really why I walk around campus trying to find somewhere to study, like there aren't literally hundreds of emtpy chairs, some with padding, some with armrests, and some without. I have to find the right spot where there isn't someone to ruin it by tapping their pen, or looking at me sideways if I start looking at neimanmarcus.com or saksfifthavenue.com and keep doing it for like 40 minutes. I just want to do it my way. I just want to study without those boys calling me mack, and congratulating me for making it to school before noon.

That part of myself I was talking about earlier is that girl who, in Ms. Dobie's biology class, 9th grade, got the high score on the Functions of the Cell Test. The cell was so confusing with all its mitochondria, and endo plasmic reticulum, and golgi apparatus. There was no way to figure it all out. I just decided that I wanted to remember what all the names were, and what the silly things did, so I figured out how to remember it all. It was like the first time I 'studied.'  And today was the same. I was just so fed up with all the confusion in my brain that I took all day figuring it out. And I loved taking that test. And I was the happiest I have been in so long I can't even remember.  

Let's see if it will last after I get my score.

Saturday Night

Creative title, I know. Whatever.
Yesterday I took a big step in my life. I went through an important rite of passage for a Latter-Day Saint woman in her early 20's. That's right, I went shopping at Micheal's crafts, and Joanne Fabric Store. Not only did I go in, but I went in looking for specific items to use in a crafty project. I am really feeling like a whole new woman. But let's talk about how I walked around in circles at Joanne's because I couldn't find, well, anything really. I was surrounded by middle aged women, and newly-wed couples, yeah there were a lot of couples in there. Apparently, when you're a newlywed everything is fun, fun, fun. Because you're in love duh. They were all having a great time holding hands and kissing in line waiting for the ladies to cut their fabric. My favorite was this little boy who just wanted his mom to buy him something like she was doing for his sisters.
"Mom can I please have just ONE thing? I know exactly what I would get if you let me get one thing"
"No you are whining"
....
"If I don't whine for like, a while, can I get something?"
I sort of just wanted to buy him something because A) His mom totally tried to jump ahead of me in line (which is why I took the fabric out of her daughters hand and threw it two isles over, to get my spot back) and 2) she was bein all mean, "I'm glad you know exactly what one thing you'd get if I'd let you"
I can't go any further, or I'll blow the 'staprise' I'm building.
After my success I went over to the Jeff's and I'm reading Brenna this story about pirates written by Arthur Conan Doyle, and he wrote some confusing stuff. Brenna would ask me what a word meant, and like a 21st century girl, I would text google for the definition of depredation, and google would tell me an act of plundering, pillaging, and marauding, and Brenna and I would work that into the sentence and make sure we understood what this old guy was talking about.
Then Haley and I drooled over Robert Pattinson/Edward on the projector/ laughed our heads off at the cheesiest acting on the planet/ actually wished vampires were real and they would love us/ Haley fell asleep 15 minutes into the movie.
I'm rambling.
It's late.
I'm procrastinating homework.

Weird, weird, weird

I got to school at 8:30 today for a meeting at work. I worked until about 2:30, when I was a little hungry for lunch. I decided to get started on my homework anyway. I had some ridiculous homework assignments, and I almost got up and walked out of that computer lab a couple of times. I started to get a little hungry again around 5 for dinner, but I didn't want to lose my momentum. When it was 8:30 pm, I went to the vending machine for a granola bar, and I came to the realization that today was the most wonderful dayI have had in a long, long time. and it had nothing to do with the external things that were filling my time. As a matter of fact, being in literally the same building for 13 hours should make me upset, annoyed, stressed, bored, and otherwise absolutely crazy, but it didn't today. I was filled with peace. Which is unusual for me in this type of circumstance. There was something different going on inside of me.

And this is where I could get really long winded, but I'll just put it as simply as possible. 

I'm glad I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

John 14:27

This isn't really my news

But I'm so excited anyway!

I happen to be the newest fan of this school:

Maybe my budget will allow for another pair of new shoes...

two things:

honesty is (still) the best policy

and

if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all

that should keep me out of trouble.

I'm going to do this from now on

The one time I got a new wallet, I documented the old and the new. This is really exciting to share these unimportant, and completely ordinary things with the world (that consists of the readers of this blog which is up to 3 now... thanks guys!!)

Tonight was the night!

Out with the old...

(I have really torn it up with these vans, that big hole in the toe is from the time I almost died longboarding. I'm pretty sure I told my blog readers about that. And I hope you can see the outline of my toes on the tops of the shoes.)

In with the New...

I'm so excited about my grownup shoes

ps- i still love sushi. it's officially my new comfort food. 

I'm as Indecisive as They Come

I change my entire outfit at least once before leaving my apartment (Sundays it's usually more like 5-6 times.) I know this isn't unheard of, I'm just making a list of the things I have the hardest time making up my mind about.
I cannot order an entree at a restaurant without feeling like I only ordered it because everyone else at the table had already ordered their food, the third time the waiter came back.
When I find myself with any amount of time without some deadline in the next hour, I will usually sit there, or think myself in circles, trying to decide just what to work on. Often I tell myself after an hour of surfing the internet (because I just can't decide) "just do something, anything."
And just like that hour that is gone, gone, gone after I surfed the net (because of my fear of deciding) this same thing happens with boys. I'm not saying this is an Angela-from-the-Office one, but if I have a decision to make, I just don't. I just hold still until those things pass, and those boys are gone.
If I can't decide what to write about, I just hold my breath, and think it will come. And then I make drafts of ramblings that I don't publish because they have absolutely no point.

Just a little insight into my mind I guess. I listed some of things I've thought about writing about, but decided the thoughts or events weren't large or complete enough to actually trick you into spending time reading. This is for that fan club out there that I know checks my blog every hour, wondering what exciting things I am doing and thinking.

New niece: Annabelle Catherine Phillips-- she's going to be my future shopping partner

I have to do a project in my heat and mass transfer class, my group consists of me and three men. They decided to put me in charge of choosing our project, so I took it upon myself to also give us a team name "Beauty and the Geeks" (the best part is, they laughed harder than you are...if you are...)

I wore a skirt to school last Friday with leggings and flats. It snowed that day.

Speaking of skirts, I started this experiment. Two weeks ago, my Bishop's wife recommended that I wear a skirt to school on Friday, so the presidency could pick me up from campus and we could go to the temple. I sort of freaked out, because, like, I never wear skirts except for three hours on Sunday. And I live in this engineering building, where t-shirts and old jeans are the dress code, not respecting girls or boys. Ok, so I calmed down, and cowboyed up... Every, single, person asked me what the occasion was. I hate saying the temple for some reason (which is another issue I have that is unrelated to actually going to the temple...) oh I know the reason, it's pride. So I would answer with lines like "because girls wear skirts... remember I'm a girl?" That is when Fridays became Dress Up Days. The next Friday was the leggings deal, no questions whatsoever. So I'm like sweet, they think I dress nice all the time, so this means I'm not grundgy, engineer girl/boy. Today was the third Friday in a row, and every, single, person asked me agian, why I was dressed up. So I'll get back to you on my conclusion of this experiment.
And it's Friday, so I'm off to my lonely routine: the mall, the gym, sushi, early bedtime.
(These capital letters are for you Daddy)

rewind

last night i went to orem high's sweethearts dance. illegal? probably. fun? definitely.

it was for a good reason. a close friend of mine, and student at orem high was dating this _____ (jerk, loser, dufas, dope, tool, etc) and she had a tough decision to make. break up with this boy and not have a date for the dance (who by the way wouldn't come to pick her up at her house because he doesn't like her parents, which is absurd because her parents got this mark a job and are nothing but good to him), or keep dating him for another two weeks and have someone to go with.

first let me say that, i love when we as adults act like this is literally a no-brainer. it is for us. but, and this is speaking from experience, when you're 18 you have no pattern for dating, it's really difficult to know exactly how to handle a situation when you've never tried it before. we understand this principle in so many ways, but sometimes we have a hard time understanding why a pretty girl in high school dates losers.

she's a smart girl and did the right thing. she gave back the dress he bought her with money he borrowed from his ex girlfriend. and i told her i'd go with her if she decided to break up crap-for-brains. we had a blast. well i did. and i know i embarrased her at least somewhat. 

the embarrasment came because 1) i never cared what anyone in high school thought of me at dances (so you can imagine what i might act like.) and 2) the heirarchy that exists in a high school no longer includes me. i didn't fit into these levels, so i danced wherever i wanted, and as big as i wanted. i saw a lot of heads turn when i climbed on some steps in front of the speakers so i was four feet above everyone else. it was like a sociology experiment. i was just dancin to the music, and all these kids (well who are only 3 years younger than me) are looking at me like 'who the crap is that girl? did we say she could dance up there? why doesn't she care that we are sending her the fall-in-line vibes?' it was awesome. i was finally the coolest kid in high school. 

so cool story: this girl at the MAC counter did my eye makeup and claimed it would last for 12-14 hours. so i slept in it to test it. (also, it was so rad, i couldn't bring myself to remove it. seriously.) i took this picture this morning when i got home. and the thing is, this picture doesn't do it justice.

look it

how cute my cousin is! i cropped everyone else out of the picture.

i want i want

i saw quantum of solace last night. i am in love. and i guess this is an announcement that i have a new boyfriend. he'll protect me from just about anything. and he'll keep wearing those classy sunglasses and semi-tight jeans.


He cleans up so nicely

my date was decent too.

"i'm not going to be able to make it. i'm stuck on a paper. thanks though"

it's a good thing i had that epiphany on my last post, or this might make me actually really sad. oh wait

people say 'i can't'

but all i hear is 'i don't really want to'

'i can't drive all the way to provo to see you'

'i can't take you out for ice cream, i don't have any time'

these these lines sound like they are things boys would say to me. because they are. i have actually heard those two lines word for word. let's talk about that second line. at the time when this was delivered i felt i learned a great principle in the dating world. of course there were other teaching tools that contributed but i realized that if this guy really wanted to do something with me, he would. simple as that. i also decided not to take this too hard, it's not worth it. mind you, this idea (it's not worth it) is revolutionary. that coming from me is huge, because i am the girl who can cry for months at a time. i just have a hard time moving on. i'm getting sooooo better though. but this isn't a post about dating/more like not dating.

so this thing is frustrating for me. people saying 'oh i really wish i could' but i can't decide how to react. would i really rather hear 'i just don't really want to.' i'm thinking maybe i'll just be excited that i deciphered the human/american language, and i can just translate it automatically, as i hear it. and i'm scratching my brain for the past week about what i could post about as it has to be something funny, or something i really care about, or something i want to tell you. so i was all excited when i turned this thought into a post idea, and in order to not be a prude and just get on here and rip on everyone who has ever told me they can't i had to close with something nice that really made me look good. 

thank you google blogger for the life lesson. it was like a ford f150 t-boning a turquoise buick skylark near cottonwood high school... but more like a blinding brilliant light from heaven. i have never applied this idea to me and myself. i think things like

'i can't eat healthier'

'i can't run consistently'

'i can't get to bed on time'

'i can't read and pray everyday'

'i can't getter better grades like these genius zoobs'

and duh duh duh, duh duh

are you getting the picture that heaven is painting? yeesh mal. you can do whatever you WANT.

so yesterday i asked myself this question at least 15 times a minute for like an hour. "yeah but what do you want?"

i'm about to do something brave. change. i know, i know. "but you've never done this mal" "i don't care, i'm doin it now" and the other brave thing is i am going to tell you about them. crap i might feel more accountable. i hope i'm prepared for that.

• fingers don't belong in mouths. and that's final (dad won't have to smack my hands anymore)
• i'm taking care of this body by giving it a proper workout everyday at 5:30... heaven help me
• i'm studying more. i'm getting better grades
• i'm going to be honest with people. and kind.
• i'm reading everyday. and saying my p's

on another note, the dope who told me he couldn't drive ALL THE WAY TO PROVO (so sad for him right now, right?) is such drama.

text messages:

'hey i'm coming to provo to see some mission buddies next weekend, would you want to hangout?'

(on the advice of a wise sister)

'thanks for thinking of me, but i'm not interested'

... five days later. another text.

'i know why you are mad at me. its hard for me to want to see you and not being able to. i would really like to come down and see you this weekend'

you're feeling for him right? so am i!

don't worry all my loved ones, i next-ed him.

also, i took a freshman out on a date last night. it fell in the category of good dates. (now the total is like 2 or 3...) readers, yay or nay?

just a favorite quote

Women of God can never be like women of the world.  The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind… We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith.

Margaret D. Nadauld

today

waking up at 5:30 to go running made it feel better

forgetting to do a problem on my homework assignment made it feel worse

boys made it a little better

losing my phone made it worse

getting ditched made it worser

finding my phone made it better

seeing brian and cath made it betterer

ice cream and two fast breaks made it more better

more plans were cancelled, and hanging out by myself made it worse

wifeswap made it better

hanging out by myself made it worse

a little company made it better

giving a long massage to the company made it a little worse

certainly going to the mall will make it better...

nordstrom made it better

banana republic really made it better

oh baby this made it better

and my favorite sandals breaking, causing me to walk a block in the snow made it worse

mom will make it better tomorrow

or maybe

as a graduation present for myself (this needs to be decided now obviously) i'll get a vacuum that actually works

resolution number one

stop biting my nails

18 hours

i've been awake today. i know this is nothing to brag about, but i don't know what else to title this post. i've just been up for a while (even though i didn't get nearly enough sleep last night) revamping my blog, watching newsies, talking to becky, eating del taco, facebooking, and otherwise partying. after spending so much quality time on the internet, posting was just too enticing. 

i have three semesters left at BYU (best case scenario) after which i will have a bachelor's degree and a job. that even sounded weird typing, if there is a life after college, i'll believe it when i see it. i've been applying to internships, emailing recruiters my resume, and on, and on. it's getting to the point i can almost taste that adult life. smell it, if you will. it feels weird and exciting. it will only be exciting if i actually get an internship or job, which if i do get a job when i graduate, my congratulations present to myself is going to be a burberry coat. one with pleats at the elbows and the waste. or maybe i'll buy a pair of gucci flats. or land in alaska. but back to the scenario that wouldn't be exciting: me not getting a job. now my hair is falling out. can't breath. must. have. goo. chi. shoes.  becky is asleep.  i think it's bedtime.

i am really into

bitter love songs right now. don't try too hard to figure out why, because i'm not.

I'm not your princess

This ain't a fairytale

I'm gonna find someone someday, who might actually

Treat me well 

This is a big world

That was a small town

And it's too late for you and your white horse

To come around

-Taylor Swift

But you're just a boy

You don't understand

And you don't understand, oh

How it feels to love a girl

Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her

You don't care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

'Cause you're taking her for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

-Beyonce

So go and tell your friends

That I'm obsessive and crazy

That's fine, I'll tell mine 

You're gay and by the way

I hate that stupid old pickup truck

You never let me drive

You're a redneck, heartbreak

Who's really bad at lying

-Taylor Swift

seriously so self-conscious

if you haven't seen it, i highly suggest you do. to give proper credit, mike showed it to me over the break. it's is a tad of an exaggeration, but you'll crack up anyway because of all the things that are hit right on the head. ok, so now that i advertised, i'll get to my point. 

when people make fun of the weird things i do, i get seriously so self-conscious. that's usually only if what they are poking fun of is something i legitmately think is airheady, habitual, not thought through, or otherwise ridiculous. i mean to the point of delibilitating. things like spelling words wrong, repeating catch phrases i thought were original, wearing weird clothes, backcombing my hair way too high, or sounding (and looking) like some of the engineers i meet at school. these are serious issues. and when i hear these things being pointed out, and poked fun of, i start to analyze my life making sure i have no association with said social suicide bombs. or when i'm blogging and i start to sound like TAMN from seriously so blessed (like right there with the social suicide bomb phrase) i get all bothered.

here's the thing though: it's ok to laugh at the somewhat silly things we do, and keep doing them. i decided it, and so its true. because i have a sister who made a blog post that was strikingly similar to one from TAMN's blog. and i still like her more than most people i know.

the other thing that helps me get over this issue, is that i am like way much hotter(seriously) than most of the girls on this campus, even if there is no ring on my magic finger (thanks elyse.) 

it's a new year, you can start all over again

most naive moment of 2008:

becky and i went to tucanos on news years eve. we had this waiter who was totally cute named lucas.

lucas: what are you girls doing after this?

me: we don't have any solid plans

lucas: you guys should come over to my place when i get off?  i live just down the street, we're gonna play some ping pong, some guitar hero, you know, you gotta do something, it's new years eve! lemme give you my number

me: alright, hit me

lucas: hey it was nice to meet you girls

me: i thought you get off at 2?

lucas: i'm just going on break, do you guys want to come?

becky: where are you going?

lucas: i'm just going downstairs to get some shots

me: excuse me?

lucas: come downstairs and get some shots

me: (smile/puzzled look) uuuh...

becky: no, thanks

lucas: oh c'mon!

me: no thanks

me: maybe we shouldn't go over to his house

becky: NO!

me: ping pong sounded fun

becky: he said BEER pong

close your eyes, and picture

a house in magna. just a two story house, with a carport. the lawn is dead and brown. you drive around the corner and what's this? a little towhead girl putting in a sprinkling system? wait. yes. it's little girl, and she's digging the trenches all by herself?
now imagine that 6 year old, 15 years later. the scene is almost the same, she's alone, she has a shovel, only this time she's shoveling snow. she's trying to get her car out of a snow bank because her brothers think its funny when she shovels alone.
luckily a kind man with a bronco showed up, and said "want me to pull you out of there?"
"thanks, none of my brothers will answer their phones" "well i'll be your brother today"
i guess i just see how the Lord works in mysterious ways, there was a reason i shoveled that trench at grandma's all alone, it was so that i could know how to shovel my car all alone.
oh and so that the sweat of the righteous (me) will cry from the dust for the punishment of my brothers. except for my foster brother with the bronco and winch.

Christmas is THIS week
I'll be 21 (officially) in 6 days
there is like 1.5 feet of snow on the ground- it's gorgeous
sibling sleepover this week! predigious!
there will be music sharing, office/earl/youtube watching... and now thanks to eric and the HMDMSTV cable we will be watcing them on the BIGSCREEN
there will be diet coke
garrett!

Phillips family: get ready to get the business

mike

come home. i can't wait to see you.

shattered record

yesterday's math final took me 4 hours and 45 minutes. it was a glorious testing center experience, and my longest to this day

my last post was wicked long

so i'll try to entertain you for a moment in not so many words...
this past friday, tickets to WICKED went on sale for the play which runs through the month of April, 2009. because of some failed attempts to get tickets on the internet by my sister-in-law and her family, we had to go get some physically. which entails waiting in line. just some info about the night before: i got garrett in his carseat in the back of my car and set off trying to find brian's house (nat's brother) at around 11. come midnight, i am somehow in parley's canyon and nat and brian said "just pull over, we'll come get you." anyways... we went to bed at about 1:30 (because we had to play with garrett) and woke up at about 3 (because garrett was upset about something) then we woke for real at 5. nat and i stood in line at abravanel hall and sparky and jan stood in line at captiol theater (mind you, sparky was like the 600th person in line. seriously) nat and i made some BFF's in line and hung out with them until 10 when the doors opened. we ended up buying 24 tickets (the limit was 8 per person, and we actually convinced one of our BFF's to put 8 tickets on her card for us) totaling a couple thousand dollars. it was quite a day! BYU should rename the reading day-- go waste your time by standing in line day. just kidding, because i get to go see WICKED. so i guess it was worth it. and of course nat and i were being hilarious as usual so it was fun you see. we are probably going to start hanging out downtown around 5:30 am more if you'd like to come.

this saturday was glorious, just glorious

I rode to Helper for our family Christmas party with Brian and Cathy, and we decided that our conversation on the way through the canyon was emotionally, politically, spiritually, socially and artistically enlightening. I know you want to know what we talked about. We talked about the energy crisis, and nuclear legislation in the US versus the former Soviet Union's. We talked about our new president, and Jimmy Carter. We talked about Glenn Beck and Ezra Taft Benson. We talked about global warming and Annabelle's stroller. All the while Chris Ledoux played softly in the background (that's where we were artisically enlightened.)
We made a pit stop at Workman's market, where we selected some fine Ruffles, and Ruffles brand ranch dip for the grand occasion. (remind me to tell you about the time Cathy was a little skeptical about whether or not the ranch dip would be a good purchase for our possibly limited access to a kitchen and said "do we have to heat this up?"-- I'm sorry if you just threw up. I did too.)
We got our bowl on, and I annihilated my brothers. Don't act so surprised. I missed Dad, Mom, the Fergusons, and the Davisssss (yeah that's a difficult plural word) and Mike, but after about four seconds of eating, I completely forgot about them. Just kidding, jeez.
I was eating with James and Kaylee, and I was trying to fill in for Dad, and tease her and I don't think I was as effective, but I definitely made progress.
So many things happened that day, and I'm trying to keep this under a million words, so if you'd like more detail I can fill you in later.
It was so fun to be with Mainie, Chris and Michelle, Richie and Jen, and everyone else. Congratulations to Michelle and Levi who are getting married!
I wanted to stay all night, but alas we had more enlightening to get to in the car. This time, Eric and I just got ourselves all enlightened about sleep. Sorry we were so boring Brian and Cath.
Eric and I made it to the Energy Solutions Arena during the second half of the BYU vs. USU basketball. I hope those aggies... just kidding, this blog is G rated. We won. That's all. Same old, same old. ;)
Eric and I played with Garrett for a few minutes when we got back to my parents house, and let me put it this way, I am planning on kidnapping Garrett because he is too too cute. He giggled and we tickled him, and he chased my phone around the floor, and life doesn't get much better than that.
And for the grande finale, I had an interesting night (which is normal under the circumstances.) When it comes to love, its usually really awkward and hilarious with me. I really feel like this maneuver should be named after me. Ok, we were both sitting on this couch. He was trying to flirt with me by putting this disgusting chihuahua on me. I kept getting really grossed out (its a dog! ew!) and pushing it away and telling it sweetly I was going to kill it etc, etc. At one point I almost lost it because I thought he put the dog on my hand/wrist so I jerked my hand away, flinched, and probably said ugh! So I turned to get mad at this guy for letting that rodent touch me and the dog was calmly sleeping in his lap, and my friends hand was outstretched.
So ladies, (gentlemen too I guess) just pull your hand away fast and act grossed out, works everytime.

everytime

i see someone ride across campus on a unicycle, i try so hard not to yell "what a fag!"

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

quentin l. cook quoted that in his last conference talk called "i hope ya know, we had a hard time" he mentioned how we all experience this very phenomenon. i have to agree. often i feel like this is the worst of times:

• i have no money
• no new shoes
• no boyfriends
• no time to play
• i do homework all day
• i'm a little exhausted
• i just failed a test
• it's so blasted cold
• i'm late for class
• i have a headache
• i am freaking out
• etc, etc!

sometimes i have a little harder time remembering that this is the best of times:

• i get to stay out late
• i get to crack up with haylie late at night
• and wake up to her in the morning
• i get to meet so many people in this little city thing called campus
• i get to pray in class
• i grow so much from having to do really hard things
• there are fun people all around me
• absense from my family makes my heart grow fonder (i really love seeing them when i do get to)
• i've gotten really good at doing laundry when pressed for time at my parents laundro-mat
• i have heard from various mothers that your time is no longer your own when you are mom- i am so looking forward to being a mom, but for now i get to work on all my shortcomings with relatively few obligations that require me to distribute my focus

i pretty much love conference, and this talk specifically. my problems don't go away just because i'm choosing to feel happy, but life is so much more enjoyable. i love everything right now. including you.

the aussies call them fringe,

not bangs. Sister Roberts told me today "ay lack yuh fringe". Sister Milburn said "oh they'a fringe becauz they frame ya face". "they'a not bangs" "no-ay. they'a not"

if you want to say "no" like an aussie this is what Sister Roberts taught me:
say "no-you" but cut off the ou. Just say the y at the beginning of the word you.

good luck. Haylie made fun of me so bad for trying to say that like 10 million times.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I can say it now! I love this season so much. I went to see Christmas Carol and the Hale Center Theater in Orem twice last week. I couldn't find Tiny Tim the first night (pre-bang era), so I just got a picture with Brenna, who played the beggar girl, and the ghost of Christmas Past. But the second night I got one with Mark. Mark and Brenna Jeffs are my BYU bishop's kids, and everyone in their family are good friends.

Mainie loves trivia questions so I'm following suit...

What year was the Christmas Carol written by Charles Dickens? (no help on this. period.)

let me try to explain

what happened on thanksgiving. it was fun. it was wild. and it was most likely completely normal. Sandy's charming house, noon, turkey day. Tay made like 200 stuffed mushrooms. Sandy made amazing turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and sweet potato pie. and the bestest salad with green beans, bleu cheese, pears, and walnuts. mmmm baby. i can't forget to tell you about tay's cheese ball, dani's chocolate cheesecake, sandy's pies, and i'll stop.

matt poured coke all over himself and said:
"ahhh i porked cork all myself!"
so when haylie opened the bottle of coke and it shot across the ENTIRE kitchen and soaked haylie- aspen and i could only try not to pee our pants and say "haylie! why did you pork cork all over yourself?!"
the elders came over and aspen and meg kept telling us how hot they were. when they got there, i agreed they were cuties. i happened to be in the basement helping (and trying not to laugh) haylie get cleaned up from the 'cork' mess. i came up the stairs and waited for the hall to clear so i could get by, i was waiting behind sandy, who was behind the missionaries. Sandy turned around and looked right at me and said, "get up here, and start flirting"

i had tears in my eyes all day yesterday. it was way too much fun.

i feel like i'm taking crazy pills

truer words have never been spoken

greg sent an email to me

within the last few weeks, and it had an animated cartoon of dilbert. it was hilarious partly because it was true. in this cartoon, a doctor diagnoses dilbert with 'the knack' he says 'he has a profound understanding of all things mechanical and electrical coupled with utter social ineptitude' late one night, while working on a homework assignment i showed this cartoon to dustin, another chemical engineer, and we laughed our heads off. 'utter social ineptitude' is precisely what is plaguing the clyde building. i'm serious...

me: (hummin a little kanye west) "do you like kanye nick?"
nick: "who?"
me: "kanye west, he's a rapper"
nick: "who?"
me: "he's a black rapper, kanye west...?"
nick: "is that a band?"
me: "no. he's a... nevermind"


me: "hey guys nick didn't know who kanye west was"
"dustin, dan, did you guys hear me? nick doesn't know who kanye west is"
dustin and dan: "um"
me: "seriously?!"
dan: "who is that?"
me: " he had a hit called gold digger way back when"
dustin: " oh that guy. i always thought his name was kane"


me: "tyler, your shirt is pretty"
dustin: "that is classic cowboy, with the pockets, and points coming off your shoulders"
me: "and the mother of pearl snaps"
dustin, tyler: (silence)
dustin: "haha... what?"
me: "that's mother of pearl on the snaps?"
dustin: "what's mother of pearl?"
me: "what?"
"tyler do you know what mother of pearl is?"
tyler: "uh-uh"

long time, no blog

i feel like it's been way too long since i said hello. i have really hit some milestones in the past week. for starters i watched almost an entire season of alias this weekend. aren't you proud of me? it takes dedication to sit home on friday night watching episode after episode, then staying up late into the night on saturday. but seriously, tv on dvd is so amazing, and that is why it is so bad. no commercials, no credits, just michael vartan standing there with the same look on his face he always has (literally, the man has one expression) and making me love him anyway. the only drawback to this weekend of productivity is that haylias wasn't there to be productive with me. she was wasting time visiting jodell, and her family. and now she's sick as can be! i'm really sad! she's been at home since friday, and i just want her to get better and come back to her real [temporary] home. GET WELL SOON HAY-YAY!

the weekend update (with photos)

this saturday the cougars creamed san diego state. Haylie, Brian, Cath, the fetus annabelle, Haylie's friend Jeff, and I were there to witness the massacre, and the marching bands rendition of popcorn popping on the apricot tree. Brian also spied another zoobie freak, and if you watch this video, you'll understand where cool kids like me get the bad wrap.

power of the wasatch's interpretation of guitar hero...see it? see it?

Tetris...

MORTAL COMBAT!

Brain and Cath. (he's giving them the crazy eye!)

The two cutest girls in the riv! (the cutest one is on the right)

weekend highlights

Dad: "I was watching the funniest show the other day, there was this really bratty rich girl, and her parents sent her to mongolia to teach her a lesson..."
Me: "are you talking about MTV's exiled?"
Dad: "I don't know"
Mom: "honey, i don't let matt watch MTV"
Dad: "it wasn't bad"
Matt: "see mom?!"


(on the way to the football game, a few minutes late)
Me: "I wonder why it is so quiet, usually you can hear the band and the announcer from my apartment. Oh, they must be saying the prayer"
Haylie: SHUTUP
Me: "it's BYU, don't act so surprised"

Me: "you'd only be so lucky to hear the band play popcorn popping on the apricot tree today haylie"
Haylie: "NO. shutup. seriously?!"

I'm part of the 2% of people with an abnormal brain

according to an email forwarded to me by aunt mainie. It had you add all these numbers consecutively, then asked you to think of a color and a tool. I thought of a red something, then i finally remembered those are called wrenchs. red, wrench. well apparently 98 % of people who take this survey (possibly even those who do not take said survey) answer red, hammer. i have no evidence to support this other than that is what the email claimed. and aunt mainie said she was part of the 98% in the subject line of the email. may i suggest, before any of you go getting the wrong idea, that i only have half an abnormal brain. my social skills may be getting rusty due to the amount of time spent in the engineering building, but i assure you my political and fashion judgement has never been keener.
on another note, i realize that some of my posts might leave my readers with feelings like "that wasn't sensational" or "man she's a downer." i promise you, that was never my intention. as a matter of fact, i'm really optismistic about the possibilties of wild and crazy times in the next two months. A) Turkey bowling on Turkey day 2) december. period. (well let me elaborate) 2a) after finals, I have a BREAK! 2c) Christmas with my family rocks. (well any weekend with sibling sleepovers really are the best-- wii, garrett, some youtube videos, mike teasing matt, mike teasing dad, dad occasionally swearing at mike over wii tennis, more trilogy time, etc, etc) 2e) I'm turning 21 this december so we're all gonna get loaded for new years (legally this time) (I'M ONLY KIDDING) and you know what else would make 2008 an awesome year... if Mitt Romney were elected president... I'll settle for McCain. And sexy sarah palin. (It's my first time voting in a presidential election tomorrow. I'm such excited)