just a favorite quote

Women of God can never be like women of the world.  The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind… We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith.

Margaret D. Nadauld

today

waking up at 5:30 to go running made it feel better

forgetting to do a problem on my homework assignment made it feel worse

boys made it a little better

losing my phone made it worse

getting ditched made it worser

finding my phone made it better

seeing brian and cath made it betterer

ice cream and two fast breaks made it more better

more plans were cancelled, and hanging out by myself made it worse

wifeswap made it better

hanging out by myself made it worse

a little company made it better

giving a long massage to the company made it a little worse

certainly going to the mall will make it better...

nordstrom made it better

banana republic really made it better

oh baby this made it better

and my favorite sandals breaking, causing me to walk a block in the snow made it worse

mom will make it better tomorrow

or maybe

as a graduation present for myself (this needs to be decided now obviously) i'll get a vacuum that actually works

resolution number one

stop biting my nails

18 hours

i've been awake today. i know this is nothing to brag about, but i don't know what else to title this post. i've just been up for a while (even though i didn't get nearly enough sleep last night) revamping my blog, watching newsies, talking to becky, eating del taco, facebooking, and otherwise partying. after spending so much quality time on the internet, posting was just too enticing. 

i have three semesters left at BYU (best case scenario) after which i will have a bachelor's degree and a job. that even sounded weird typing, if there is a life after college, i'll believe it when i see it. i've been applying to internships, emailing recruiters my resume, and on, and on. it's getting to the point i can almost taste that adult life. smell it, if you will. it feels weird and exciting. it will only be exciting if i actually get an internship or job, which if i do get a job when i graduate, my congratulations present to myself is going to be a burberry coat. one with pleats at the elbows and the waste. or maybe i'll buy a pair of gucci flats. or land in alaska. but back to the scenario that wouldn't be exciting: me not getting a job. now my hair is falling out. can't breath. must. have. goo. chi. shoes.  becky is asleep.  i think it's bedtime.

i am really into

bitter love songs right now. don't try too hard to figure out why, because i'm not.

I'm not your princess

This ain't a fairytale

I'm gonna find someone someday, who might actually

Treat me well 

This is a big world

That was a small town

And it's too late for you and your white horse

To come around

-Taylor Swift

But you're just a boy

You don't understand

And you don't understand, oh

How it feels to love a girl

Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her

You don't care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

'Cause you're taking her for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

-Beyonce

So go and tell your friends

That I'm obsessive and crazy

That's fine, I'll tell mine 

You're gay and by the way

I hate that stupid old pickup truck

You never let me drive

You're a redneck, heartbreak

Who's really bad at lying

-Taylor Swift

seriously so self-conscious

if you haven't seen it, i highly suggest you do. to give proper credit, mike showed it to me over the break. it's is a tad of an exaggeration, but you'll crack up anyway because of all the things that are hit right on the head. ok, so now that i advertised, i'll get to my point. 

when people make fun of the weird things i do, i get seriously so self-conscious. that's usually only if what they are poking fun of is something i legitmately think is airheady, habitual, not thought through, or otherwise ridiculous. i mean to the point of delibilitating. things like spelling words wrong, repeating catch phrases i thought were original, wearing weird clothes, backcombing my hair way too high, or sounding (and looking) like some of the engineers i meet at school. these are serious issues. and when i hear these things being pointed out, and poked fun of, i start to analyze my life making sure i have no association with said social suicide bombs. or when i'm blogging and i start to sound like TAMN from seriously so blessed (like right there with the social suicide bomb phrase) i get all bothered.

here's the thing though: it's ok to laugh at the somewhat silly things we do, and keep doing them. i decided it, and so its true. because i have a sister who made a blog post that was strikingly similar to one from TAMN's blog. and i still like her more than most people i know.

the other thing that helps me get over this issue, is that i am like way much hotter(seriously) than most of the girls on this campus, even if there is no ring on my magic finger (thanks elyse.) 

it's a new year, you can start all over again

most naive moment of 2008:

becky and i went to tucanos on news years eve. we had this waiter who was totally cute named lucas.

lucas: what are you girls doing after this?

me: we don't have any solid plans

lucas: you guys should come over to my place when i get off?  i live just down the street, we're gonna play some ping pong, some guitar hero, you know, you gotta do something, it's new years eve! lemme give you my number

me: alright, hit me

lucas: hey it was nice to meet you girls

me: i thought you get off at 2?

lucas: i'm just going on break, do you guys want to come?

becky: where are you going?

lucas: i'm just going downstairs to get some shots

me: excuse me?

lucas: come downstairs and get some shots

me: (smile/puzzled look) uuuh...

becky: no, thanks

lucas: oh c'mon!

me: no thanks

me: maybe we shouldn't go over to his house

becky: NO!

me: ping pong sounded fun

becky: he said BEER pong